So, as usual, I am spending the summer holidays on the tennis circuit. This year has been slightly different as last week Master Benedict got the chance to play at Wimbledon in a national U14 tournament. He reached the last sixteen of the singles and won the doubles title 6 – 4,  6 – 1. Being only 13, if he gets through the qualifying rounds next year, he will get a chance to compete again. I’m looking forward to him taking on the might of the LTA sponsored kids and seeing just what he can do at the next level. My boys, Jacob and Ben, now hold nine county titles and one national title between them but, despite Jacob being no 1 in our county almost consistently since the age of nine and Ben since the age of seven, in all that time they have only received £300 of funding

So it’s the early hours of Sunday morning and, as I have insomnia, I have been occupying my time by reading the news over at The Guardian. Yes, I’ve been trying to take-in some big words and long sentences over at the Guardian. Toughen myself up enough so I can open-up Hilary Mantel’s Wolf Hall without gulping. So anyway over at The Big G they’ve got some high profile writers giving their views on whether the Scots should vote aye or nay to stay in the union. (You folks abroad may not know but, in the autumn, the Scots are voting on whether they want to still hold hands with the rest of the UK – or whether they just want to do it discreetly behind the bike sheds.) Anyway I thought it was appropriate that some lesser known folks i.e –  me and a few of my buddies should

The musical parody of Robin Thicke’s Blurred Lines by Al Yankovic is a fun reminder to us all about the value of literacy. I’ve no objection to people cutting corners with their grammar on social media – but I do think it’s important they know how to use it correctly in the first place. I’m starting to get the hang of text-speak myself – if I’m pressed for time I occasionally substitute “u” for “you” and sometimes I substitute “No way!” for anything which would normally be a 5 page rant.  I’m also  trying to brush-up my vocab by working my way through Mr Blobby’s Guide to the ABC. I am up to the letter F. Which is handy as I find f-words invaluable. You see I like to keep up with the times. I know you lot think I’m an old stick-in-the-mud but I’m actually a forward-thinking and liberal

Yep, it’s that time of year when I double my intake of painkillers – the school holidays. So that means I am not around so much merely because every time I settle down to do some writing I get a request for food. You see the problem with teenage sons is they never stop eating. It’s okay for you parents of girls because they are almost always watching their weight but try adopting three sons and then you’ll know real misery. As soon as I’ve washed up from one meal and sat down with a coffee a Young Master appears from nowhere with one of the three following questions: “Have we got anything to eat?”  “What’s for tea/lunch/breakfast?”  “Have you been shopping yet?” Now since I like to look on the bright side of things, I am consoling myself that Young Sam is still away at college completing his MA

And so it’s time for my last five positive thoughts: 1. I am really hoping that some of you folks out there will rise to the challenge of setting me some new topics to write about on my blog. It can be ANY topic you like – except religion. Even I don’t go there – it’s too easy to upset folks. Which I probably do anyway but it’s only the zealots who want to burn you at the stake that you have to worry about. And I’m still too young to be roasted. (Just.) 2. I am hoping if I get some good topics and I write some entertaining posts, I’ll include them in my next book. So please leave a comment or email me via my contact page if you have a topic you’d like me to get my tongue around. 3. This is the cover to my next

It’s a quickie again. Five positive thoughts: No 1. Tomorrow I am pretty sure I am going to be less tired. No 2. Tomorrow the sun will be shining. No 3 . Tomorrow I will going swimming. No 4. Tomorrow I will make a salad. (Hopefully) No 5  Tomorrow I will not drive into a concrete block. And yes I didn’t see it.

Wow, I’m on my third post in three days. Okay before I go any further, I just need to inform you that I had a really, really bad bout of insomnia last night. I’ve only have had 90 mins of sleep so I’m like the walking dead and I may crash out at any moment. If you hear about a woman found sleeping in Tesco’s meat aisle on the six o’clock news – that’ll be me. Yep, so if this post is full of typos and gibberish and is even more incoherent than the norm you’ll just have to forgive me and put it down to sleep deprivation. I’m going to deliberately follow that laborious method that drunks use when there try to convince everyone they’re not drunk (talking and walking really slowly to try and prove they’re still capable) by methodically studying each word before I press “publish”. However,

I have been challenged by an old school friend, Jacqui Crowe, via Facebook, to come up with five positive thoughts for five days. That’s pretty tough going even for the eternal optimistic like me but I am going to try my best. Now just for a bit of background information, Jacqui and I went to a state school and were in many of the same classes and played in the school hockey team together.  Our hockey team put the fear of God in those posh girls from the private schools. They were no match for us because girls who have survived the terror of state school toilets have NO fear. We were hard, ruthless and, even though some of us had furry pencil cases, we had a reputation as being near invincible. Think Britney Spears in her gym-slip with with a flame-thrower and a bazooka and you’re just about there.

If you have a teenage son, you’ll probably appreciate this. I know I do. Ho hum.