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The often dubious, politically incorrect and mainly humorous musings of Ms Jane Turley, (Ex) Housewife Extraordinaire.

Update

Well, I didn’t quite make it to the end of the A to Z. It was probably an ask too much given the complexities of my life at present. So, to give an update on my present situation, I am working in a temporary job for an Italian firm. I have very nice boss and it is a lot less stressful than my previous role which was a nightmare from start to finish. With hindsight, I should have turned around and walked out the first day I started the job in London as it was immediately apparent I had walked into a very difficult and explosive  situation. I am now looking for a permanent role. Whilst there are prospects for this one (which would probably mean returning to London) ideally I am looking for a 9-5 job so I can spend more time with my son in his last year

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S is for Selebrate

Okay C is for celebrate but given this is the last day in my present job which has been a nightmare from day one I think I can take a grammatical liberty. I am overjoyed to be leaving.  The last three weeks where I have stuck a smile on my face and pretended I no longer care if the staff arrive late, the stock is missing and put up with the daily grief have been a test of my endurance. So with only 9 hours to go I can now SELEBRATE….. Give me joy in my heart keep me praising Give me joy in my heart I pray Give me joy in my heart, keep me praising Keep me priaising til the end of day Sing Hosanna, sing Hosanna,  Sing Hosanna this is my very last day Sing Hosanna, Sing Hosanna Sing Hosanna forever and a day!

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R is for Rollercoaster

I am currently on a rollercoaster of emotions. On the whole, I believe I have coped admirably well give the unenviable situation I was left in 20 months ago. There have been times of utter despair though. No doubt about that. Currently, I am working out my notice for my present job. Work has been the one thing that has kept me going over the last 20 months. Focusing on doing a good job, building a career again has been very important. Not just for financial reasons. So it has been a huge disappointment that my current role has not worked out. I feel angry too as I invested a lot of time and energy and took a big hit with trainfare to pursue it and I don’t really feel I’ve had the support I should have done. Consequently, my emotions are all over the place. The trouble is when

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Q is for Quaint

Quaint is a funny old word. Not many people use it these days. It means “attractively old-fashioned or unusual”. Perhaps how you might describe Miss Marple, Jessica Fletcher, a Tudor cottage or a gentleman in a bowler hat. I never really thought of myself as quaint before but in my present role I have come to see that as I do have some rather old fashioned values which include: Turning up to my job on time. Carrying out my job to the best of my ability. Trying to perform tasks in a timely and expeditious manner. (Obviously, none of these rules apply to housework. Ho hum.) I think I shall now buy myself a twin set and pearls and move to small rural villaage and investigate the untimely disapperance of the Church flowers.

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P is for Pants

Okay, so I’m going to talk about pants. British pants. Not American pants which are, in fact, trousers. Got it? Just to clarify, British pants are knickers or G-strings, boxers, hipsters, Y-fronts, cami-knickers and so on. American pants are the outer garments we call trousers in the UK. I’m clarifying this just in case Mr Trump ever reads my blog as I heard the last time he’d drunk a little too much at dinner and the waiter asked if he wanted a bombe for dessert, he hit on Syria.  So, I’m starting a new job soon so, as most women know, that kind of situation calls for a little investment whether its makeup, perfume, shoes or some other goodie. I’ve decided on pants. Because after diamonds, pants are a girls’s best friend. You can always rely on a good pair of pants to keep you safe from unexpected breezes, wandering hands

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O is for Over

My current job is almost over. I have 8 working days left. I will probably weep for joy when I leave what has, undoubtedly, been the worst experience of my working life, both paid and voluntary. And I have done an awful lot of jobs. Of course some people don’t count voluntary work as “work.” It’s just a hobby. They only see “work” as a job which is rewarded by a pay check. But without the thousands of volunteers in charities, youth groups, sports clubs, schools and institutions our society would be a lot poorer in every way. So this stage of my life is almost over. Hopefully, soon I can put this job and the other unhappiness of the last few years behind me. I am now back writing here on my blog and elsewhere. And when I write the sun begins to shine. Maybe that’s something only other

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N is for Noise

One of the things you begin to appreciate more as you get older is silence. I remember when I was a girl and I would ask my father what he would like for Christmas or his birthday and he would always answer “P &Q, P&Q”. Which meant “Peace and Quiet.” As I get older, I appreciate more what he meant. And the world has got a much noisier place since I was a child. Sometimes the noise is debilitating. These days I think there is nothing better than sitting in the quiet and listening to the sound of nature. Maybe take the time out to reflect or relax. Today, I am by myself for a few hours at home. Rarely, is it so quiet in our house. It is so quiet I can hear the clock ticking. My father was a wise man.  He died in 1999 when he was

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M is for Motherhood

Motherhood is a job. Some people don’t think it is. Perhaps they think it’s all tea and gossiping. I’m afraid the only women who might be doing that is are the mega-rich ones who pay someone else to look after their kids. I’ve always taken my role as a mother seriously.  And I gave up a lot, including a career, to put my children first and give them the best start in life filled with love, support and affection. And, despite one or two hiccups on the way, they are three successful and fine young men with super qualities and lovely natures. It has not been easy though. Being a mother and being responsible for someone else’s life is a tough call. It’s not like the cut and thrust of business where people are just numbers on a payroll. Sometimes when they were little I slept on their bedroom floors

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L is for Late and Luck

So I’m late on the A to Z. Now I don’t mind being late when it’s called for but I am never late for work. At least not without very good reason and I always take the time to inform people that I’m running unavoidably late. I shall be tackling the subject of lateness in more depth when I am in my new job. Expect a corker. In the meantime, I have had a stroke of luck. I have been offered a job which means, hopefully, I can leave my present job earlier than expected. I just need to agree a date. Bells ring, hands clap, choirs sing, “Hallelujah, hallelujah, hallelujah”! Praise the Lord. I haven’t had much luck for the last few years. In fact, I’d say the only stroke of luck is I haven’t dropped down dead from stress and exhaustion yet. Yee Ha! Hopefully, this will be

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K is for Knee-jerk

Have you ever given a knee-jerk reaction? One of the skills I’ve learnt as a writer is to be patient and edit what I say. It’s a valuable skill as a writer. But it’s made me more cautious about expressing my opinion or giving knee-jerk reactions and I’m not sure that is always healthy. Sometimes, I’ve written out emails and texts which get right to the heart of what I want to say quite bluntly. But fearing the consequences, nine times out of ten, I leave them in draft until I’ve calmed down, sometimes for days and a lot of the time I never send those emails even when I have every valid reason to press “send”. Primarily, this is because I’ve realised over the years it is often a complete waste of my time and energy corresponding with people who can never see someone else’s point of view, who

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J is for Jane Who?

Over the last week, I have written 18,000 words of a new book. I plan to finish it in the next 28 days. I’m on track though as the as the average novel is only 90,000 so I’m already a substantial way into it. If I continue at the rate I’m going, I will have more then enough material to whittle away anything superfluous. I’m not sure if I’ll publish it. It may be a bottom drawer book. Most writers have several of these: Books where they learnt their craft or books that didn’t work out as planned. I have one too. This may or not be another one. It is too soon to tell. However, it is not comedy. Although there are glimpses of my humour. Life would be dull without humour… I have spent ten years building a writing career which has, sadly, stagnated due to the difficulties

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I is for Ignoramus

I wonder how many people know what “ignoramus means”? I looked it up just to be sure. Basically, it’s a posh word to describe a stupid person. It’s the sort of word quarrelsome academics or posh folks who went to public school would use to describe each other… “I read Charles’ paper on Lichtenstein. Pompous twaddle. He really is an ignoramus.” “I was at the Club the other night and bumped into Wally. Total ignoramus. Wally by name, Wally by nature I’m afraid. I heard his father was Master of the Hounds. Can’t believe it. Surely, must be the son of a grocer.” It’s also the type of word historians use: “The Prime Minister had a penchant for pigs and referendum. In all likelihood, history will not look kindly on such an ignoramus.” “When he turned his attention from Britain to Russia, Churchill knew Hitler was not just evil, but

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