The Witty Ways of a Wayward Woman

The Dog Who Came In From The Cold

Some of my readers will remember that a while ago I enthused about The No 1 Ladies’ Detective Agency by Alexander McCall Smith. In the last 3 years I think it was one of a very few books that all the ladies of my book club agreed was thoroughly engrossing and entertaining. Normally, there’s at least one or two ladies that don’t like a book but the The No 1 Ladies’ Detective Agency, alongside The Curious Incident of the Dog in the Night Time by Mark Haddon and The Snowing and Greening of Thomas Passmore by Paul Burman has been one of the few that came out with a unanimous show of hands. So let me tell you about Corduroy Mansions; The Dog Who Came In From The Cold, also by Alistair McCall Smith. Currently, the book is available FREE via The Daily Telegraph, either by reading it online or

janeturley 3 December 2009 No Comments

I’m in love with Arnold Schwarzenegger! Damn it, his butt is goood!

I’m so excited because a few days ago my preordered copy of Terminator 4 arrived and this weekend I’ll be settling down to watch it. Hurrah! Yes, one of my guilty secrets is a love of sci fi movies so even though it’s a major disappointment Arnold Schwarzenegger isn’t in the movie I’m still gonna check out this latest release in the Terminator series. I wonder if Arnie has any guilty secrets? Hmm… maybe. In fact you might have seen the letter below circulating in the press which apparently Arnie sent to San Fransisco politician Tom Ammiano. Now Ammiano had been a little rude to the lovely Arnie and apparently walked out during a speech Arnie was making saying “Kiss my gay arse. ” Now that’s not very polite is it? In fact it’s very, very naughty! Anyway Arnie sent Mr Ammiano a letter which not only rejected Mr Ammiano’s

janeturley 26 November 2009 5 Comments

The Cliff Walk

There’s not a lot of culture on my blog so today I thought it would be nice to post Easterland(for Mary) a slideshow from someone who does know a bit about culture and that’s Eddie Mchugh whose photography blog is a long term favourite of mine. The Cliff Walk can be found permanently on my sidebar. You can also check out Eddie’s work at The London Photographic Association where his work has received recognition for its artistic merits. Eddie is largely self taught in the area of photography having previously spent 30 years or more painting. However he now exhibits his photography in exhibitions as far a field as London, Canada and the United States. Based in the US, Eddie’s pictures are an an eclectic portrayal of his life in the Pacific Northwest. His pictures range from portraits and scenic shots to the quirky comical and bizarre. For someone like

janeturley 20 November 2009 7 Comments

A Pussy Update…

It’s about time I gave you all an update on my pussy. Well my pussy likes sausages. In fact sausages are a real favourite. A bit of beef doesn’t go amiss either. Yes, my New Pussy likes just about everything; pork, chicken, left over spaghetti bolognese, mouldy lasagne that’s been hiding out in the fridge for a month but he especially likes Miss Cleo’s chicken. I guess Pussy is making up for being famished for a few months but since he’s settled in he’s started stalking my elderly pussy, Miss Cleo. Well stalking Miss Cleo’s food anyway. For the first week or so he was happy to lie spreadeagled, replete on Whiskas, on the downstairs sofa but then he discovered that Miss Cleo has tasty little chicken treats in my study. Well….actually…. she has entire meals of chicken. Yes, I know that sounds overly generous for a cat – but

janeturley 18 November 2009 11 Comments

An impromptu rant!

What a few days I’m having! Last weekend Master Ben got a tummy bug and it was full scale explosions from either end. Lovely. Still Master Ben is a little soldier and as strong as an ox and by Wednesday he was back at school and playing tennis. He is so good when he is ill; always hitting the target and never hitting the floor, sheets and, more importantly, me. Unlike Master Jacob who is like ..the world’s worst patient. Well except for Mr T, from whom Master Jacob has inherited “Acute Melancholic Manflu & Every Other Disease Known to Man Syndrome” For example, a couple of weeks a ago Mr T did something to his leg/hip. Yep, I came home from tennis one evening and he was looking like a geriatric Long John Silver. Indeed his protestations were so bad I thought he’d ripped open his war wound from

janeturley 16 November 2009 5 Comments

Name The Pig!

Firstly, I’ve not bought a Barbour jacket, green wellies and built a sty in my back garden. (Although with my kids wrecking it on a weekly basis “sty” is a fairly good description.) Neither have I bought a small herd of pigs despite the fact bacon every morning is a tempting proposition. And let’s not even mention sausages – I can work wonders with a sausage. Gez, those jars of Homepride Sausage Casserole Sauce are just great aren’t they? I love sausages though and you can read my earlier thoughts on sausages here. If you want. No pressure; I still haven’t bought my Christmas cards yet. Well anyway I’m looking for the name of for a pig because over at The View From Here I’ve written an article on science fiction which has a Name the Pig competition attached to it. All you have do is pop over, enter your

janeturley 12 November 2009 5 Comments

Music Monday; Me and My Banjo!

Impressed hey? Didn’t know I was so talented eh? Oh alright I’m lying. I don’t play the banjo although I can make a good sound with a pair of wooden spoons and some empty baked baked tins! I also tried using my cheese grater as a washboard but somehow it didn’t quite work. Don’t ask me why, but the paramedic said I should have been using Cheddar. I replied “Don’t you know we are part of of the EC you can’t say Cheddar you must say “Fromage du Anglais a la place avec le grand gorge and caves which emits a cheesy smell.” Oh alright I’m lying again. Anyone can make Cheddar Cheese and call it Cheddar cheese, even if they live in China. Although, apparently, only the Italians can produce Parmesan Cheese and only the Greeks can produce Feta Cheese. Cheddar cheese is a generic name. Well so they

janeturley 9 November 2009 5 Comments

Music Monday – I don’t like ’em!

Ordinarily, I like Mondays. Especially when it’s a Monday after the school holidays. I adore my boys but when the day comes around that they return to school I’m looking forward to a few hours of solitude. Last week, which was half term here in the UK, was pretty hectic so today I’d plenty of ideas on how to fill my day; maybe some writing, a little tickling of my favourite ticklees and perhaps charring a nice spaghetti bolognese. Maybe even thinking about cleaning the kitchen but then coming to my senses and surfing the net for Christmas presents instead. Prezzies for myself obviously- someone’s gotta do it – otherwise I’ll end up with another gadget which I’ll rediscover in about 10 years at the back of the cupboard. You know they don’t call slowcookers “slowcookers” for nothin’ you know… And then I got into a bad mindset……….. So Master

janeturley 2 November 2009 12 Comments

They’re Back Once More!

Back in February during one of my Music Monday posts I talked about the announcement of the reunion of 80’s supergroup Spandau Ballet. Well this week saw the release of their new album and single Once More. Once More is an album consisting of some of their biggest hits updated and two new releases including the title track. It’s a fabulous song and with Tony’s splendid voice, Gary’s consummate composition skills and Martin, Steve and John’s musical abilities if Once More is anything to go by then Spandau Ballet’s comeback maybe one of the biggest comebacks of recent times. Let’s face it the guys make Take That look like amateurs! Here’s the new single; I love it! Fancy having a hint of how they’ve reworked some of the old hits? Then check out this free album sampler courtesy of The Guardian newspaper. I liked what I heard and I’ll be

janeturley 23 October 2009 5 Comments

Supermarket Fantasies!

Okay, I’m gonna spill the beans this morning. I have a secret. And it’s time for me to come out! No, not that kinda “come out” I just mean just admit the truth! You see, I have a fantasy where I’m in the supermarket and suddenly I burst into song and dance, everyone joins in, the whole supermarket goes crazzzzzzy and the manager is so taken with my dance moves he gives me my spuds for free. You know – rather like that bit in the film Fame where all the kids start dancing in the streets and leaping on cars. Yep, that’s my fantasy – cartwheeling down the bread aisle, shaking my butt amongst the loo rolls and vocalising amongst the chocolates. Heaven. Sheer Heaven. Blimey, I’m soooooo bored with shopping that even making a trip to the supermarket loo and inspecting it for cleanliness provides some light relief!

janeturley 22 October 2009 9 Comments

Name My Pussy!

I have a house guest! Sometime before my two cats Tigga and Tash died earlier this year, I realised that another cat was visiting our house in the dead of night. Sometimes I heard the cat flap bang, a tin fall on the floor and in the morning tell tell footprints on the kitchen work tops. My cats never made a fuss and just let the cat come and go – I guess Tigga and Tash weren’t up to fighting and as Miss Cleo, my remaining cat, is as daft as a brush The Interloper found no resistance. Then one day, I inadvertently locked the cat flap one way only and the next morning there it was – a big, furry, black and white cat who looked extremely well fed and like he might need a course of slimming pills. Well as it turned out he was a stray because

janeturley 20 October 2009 27 Comments

Music Monday; Oh No, Not Another Boy Band!

Yes, yes alright I do like boy bands! Now I’ve had to endure a little rib tickling from some quarters about my fondness for such groups but I think it’s perfectly healthy for a woman of my advanced years to be looking at young men. You know – it keeps the mind active! I mean I’ve got to fight off the dementia somehow haven’t I? One of my favourites Boy bands of recent years is Boyzone. I played one of Ronan Keating’s solo songs a while back but with the sudden death of band member Stephen Gately, aged just 33, I feel in the mood to play one the group’s songs. So here we go; That was great! Stephen had a lovely voice and I regularly enjoy listening to him and his fellow bandmates on their Greatest Hits CD. Now by all accounts Stephen was a very pleasant man so

janeturley 19 October 2009 4 Comments