The Witty Ways of a Wayward Woman

A Year On…

Well today is a day which has been looming in my mind for quite sometime; it’s the first anniversary of my mother’s death. It’s been a tough year. My mother was not just my mother but also my best friend and I’ve missed those times where we shared personal triumphs or upsets. As we travelled through life it was those intimate moments that brought us closer together. Learning to share our thoughts, feelings, opinions and problems made the bad times better and the good times happier. A few weeks ago I took delivery of some of my mother’s furniture. Her small two seater sofa and matching ladies’ chair now sit comfortably in my study which is looking more and more like a parlour straight out of a Jane Austen Novel. (Although perhaps not quite so tidy!) Most of the time I’m still at my computer but sometimes I just sit

janeturley 15 October 2009 12 Comments

School Photographs.. Don’t You Just Love ’em!

Mrs T is walking from the school gates with her good friend Mrs B (Also known as Fordfocus mum in my comment sections) deep in conversation. It goes something like this…. Mrs T; Have you seen Master A’s school photo yet? Mrs B; Yes. Mrs T; I think Master Ben’s is the best school photograph we’ve ever had. Kinda ironic as I haven’t got anyone to send it to this year. Can I send one to you Mrs B? Mrs B; I think you should save yourself the money. Mrs T; What! You don’t want a piccy of the lovely Master Ben?! Shame, shame on you ! Mrs B; I was thinking of getting a jotter pad with Master A on it. Mrs T; Yeah, I was thinking of getting a book mark.Pause Mrs T; How sad are we?? (Mrs T and Mrs B dissolve into uncontrollable laughter.) Huh. I’m

janeturley 14 October 2009 14 Comments

Sunset over Coral Bay

In our daily lives we are often so busy working, commuting and fulfilling our obligations that we don’t get the opportunity to appreciate the really simple and beautiful things in life. I know I don’t. More often then not, I’m travelling when the sun is setting and although I frequently glance at the sky and fleetingly admire the beauty, I never really have the time to watch the day turn into night. I suppose that’s the real bonus of holidays. Having a little bit of time away from the daily grind that allows the senses to re-awaken and take in our new surroundings. The tastes on our palettes, the fragrances in the air, the warmth of the sun seems so incredibly vital and strong. Maybe that’s why holiday memories are often so poignant and remain with us for years. It’s pretty hard work entertaining a family wherever you are in

janeturley 2 October 2009 13 Comments

Toilet Talk

Well it’s time for another installment about my holiday in Cyprus. I know you’re all still intrigued to know how I got on with the lavatory problems so let me tell you I managed to survive. It wasn’t the ideal situation for a refined lady like myself but that decontamination suit worked wonders. Being fully prepared for the worst (including packing 3 packets of nappy sacks) I managed to cope with the horrors of cleaning up after 5 males. Not easy, I know, but then the drugs do help. In fact the most memorable toilet experience I had was actually at Pathos airport where on entering The Ladies I found it was spotlessly clean with an attendant in residence. (An almost unheard situation in the UK.) This meant I could relax and upon entering the toilet compartment I could actually contemplate sitting on the loo seat and not adopting my

janeturley 1 October 2009 10 Comments

No no, no and no again!

I usually wake fairly early, irrespective of what time I’ve gone to bed, and find myself in the kitchen by 6am feeding the cat and making a cup of black coffee. I enjoy the peace and solitude of the early morning, knowing there’s a good hour or more when I can do as I please before the day descends into its usual chaos. I find it relaxing, therapeutic. Then, cup in hand, I usually wander back upstairs to my study, check my emails, read the news headlines and see if anything grabs my attention enough to make me want to read the entire article. Sometimes there is, sometimes there isn’t. But what I categorically don’t want to see is the likes of this; C’mon, give a girl a break! I just got out of bed! What the hell is it? Is C3P0 experiencing an identity crisis? Is it a man

janeturley 26 September 2009 13 Comments

Music Monday; We’ll Meet Again

I don’t think I can let today pass without mentioning a truly remarkable achievement in the music world. Last week Dame Vera Lynn topped the British Album charts with her album We’ll Meet Again, a collection of her songs spanning her lifetime in music. At 92, she is the oldest living performer ever to have held this position. What’s more, Vera fought off the likes of The Beatles and The Artic Monkeys to take the No I spot and in doing so took the honours away from Bob Dylan who, at the tender age of 67, achieved the same feat earlier this year with his album Together Through Life. The song We’ll Meet Again, after which the album was titled, was still a very popular song when I was a child. It was first released in 1939 but such was its potency that on my last day at comprehensive school

janeturley 21 September 2009 6 Comments

Dancing with Heavenly Stars

When I’m travelling or spending time in my kitchen most of the time I listen to the local radio so it was with sadness that during the news announcements I learnt of the death of actor Patrick Swayze. I don’t think there can be many people who haven’t seen the feel good factor films Dirty Dancing and Ghost in which Patrick starred. They are both perennially popular films in which Patrick’s characters Johnny Castle and Sam Wheat portray those attributes that we look most for in the opposite sex -love and devotion. I’m sure Patrick, for whom there has been nothing but the highest praise as an artist and more importantly as a man, has left a wonderful personal legacy to his friends and family. It must also be comforting for his loved ones to be able to look back over his career and know that he brought joy to

janeturley 17 September 2009 8 Comments

Always on my mind…

No not Nissan Micras. Although they have been featuring in some hideous nightmares I’ve been having lately about being trapped in one whilst a deranged man beats on the driver’s window. I’m not sure about the significance of this is but you know it sure is spooky. Particularly when the man leans through the window and says ” Hereeeeeee’s Mr T ! “ Nope, Nissan Micras are not what has been on my mind – it’s toilets. Yes, toilets. Yep, ever since Mrs D sent me that email I’ve been thinking about toilets. Maybe you fellas out there don’t realise how much time us girls spend thinking about the bathroom, cleaning the bathroom, in the bathroom and indeed looking for the bathroom. Hell, I even dream about the bathroom! Hmm.. Okay… I admit I’m a bit screwy so maybe that’s an exception to the norm. ( No comments please.) Unfortunately,

janeturley 14 September 2009 6 Comments

The View From My Driveway…..

Yes, I’m back from my holiday! Now before I get started on my encounters with the Cypriot sewerage system, precarious roads, ear infections, turbulence and other matters relating to my travels I need to get something out of the way. This…… Yes, you’ve guessed it. Another bloody Nissan Micra (Sport edition). Parked opposite my driveway. And yes, it did provide good sport. But probably not the kind the owner was envisioning. Now let’s be truthful if you owned a Nissan Micra, or indeed any car, would you park it opposite my driveway? Personally, I blame Pierce Brosnan. If he didn’t keep sending me those piccys of him in his tux and those steamy emails I would never lose my concentration. The problem is as I’m reversing I get this picture in my head of Pierce’s butt and then WHAM, BAM there is sudden collision. Unfortunately, it’s not the one I’m

janeturley 12 September 2009 10 Comments

Let’s get writing!

I know many of you wouldn’t call yourselves official “writers” but I also know that amongst my regular readers there are some hugely talented “unofficial” writers. So I just wanted to let you know about a few writing competitions that may inspire you to put pen to paper! The first is my own little competition over at the The View From Here. I hope you read my review of Pride and Prejudice and Zombies by Seth Grahame Smith ( see my link bar) in which I discussed the latest phenomenon of Monster Mash. Now it’s your opportunity to write some mash too! So why not pop over to The View and see the details. The Closing date is the 23rd September and I’m looking for a really silly piece of writing (about 500 words) to take the prizes. Nothing would please me more than one of my blogging friends to

janeturley 25 August 2009 6 Comments

Shocking, Disturbing News!

Oh my goodness, I have just had some deeply disturbing news! My good friend Mrs D, in whose villa we are staying in Cyprus, has sent me a highly informative document with all the relevant info we will need for our stay – from taxi firms, supermarkets and tourist locations to telephone numbers, doctors surgeries and, of course, of vital importance – the location of the iron. It is an extremely thorough document and obviously designed for a complete thicko such as my good self who hasn’t the vaguest idea about what she should be doing. In fact I’m still wondering what size of suitcase to buy for myself… and we leave in a week’s time. Oh dear! Anyway, I was taking all of this in my stride until I read the following… “Next to the toilets there are bins. It is not recommended that you flush the toilet paper

janeturley 16 August 2009 12 Comments

Music Monday; It’s Magic!

This last week has, I hope, marked a change in fortunes for my family as not only was my car parking fine rescinded but, more importantly, my elder brother got married! It was a warm, intimate wedding with only the closest of friends and family present which befitted a “second time around”wedding for both partners. Some of you will remember that my elder brother’s former wife died tragically last year. Subsequently, my brother assumed total responsibility for their daughter. While some relationships might have been stretched by the sudden arrival of an unexpected child 24 hours a day, it has been heartwarming to see how my brother’s new partner welcomed his daughter in such sad and difficult circumstances. Their marriage now marks a new step for them as a family unit. Hopefully, it will be just the start of many future happy and healthy years together. Now during the wedding

janeturley 16 August 2009 4 Comments