The Witty Ways of a Wayward Woman

Newsflash! (and other stuff.)

Well would you believe it, I actually had a response from the Car Parking company! Now you may wonder why I sound so surprised. I’m not sure how it is with all you folks abroad in your respective countries but I’m pretty flabbergasted because I’ve become accustomed to not receiving responses from companies and indeed many other institutions in the UK. And as for customer service departments – there’s more chance of my having a conversation with a purple 6 legged alien with 4 eyes than actually getting to talk to someone who knows their subject. Anyway, the good news is that I’ve been absolved from my car parking ticket – without even producing my ticket! I’ve got to admit it was not the result I was expecting; I’m not used to things going my way. Maybe fortune has, at last, begun to shine on me! I suspect the administrators

janeturley 12 August 2009 9 Comments

Music Monday; Say What You Want!

One of the best things about blogging is having the freedom to express yourself, to Say What You Want. Sometimes it really helps the healing process to get things off your chest. So it’s time for me to say what I want. Loudly. Why, O Why did I have to get to get a ****** puncture! Why, why, why???? (Screams akin to a woman just about to have all the blood sucked out of her by Tony Blair reverberate across the Home Counties……. ) Why, why, why???? Someone please tell me the answer! And no – the story doesn’t end there. Unfortunately. Why, why, why did I have to hit the kerb?? And no, not just a normal itsy bitsy kerb but one of those stupidly high ones outside multi carparks which are strategically placed for maximum denting? (Yep, you know what that means.) Isn’t it bad enough that people

janeturley 9 August 2009 9 Comments

A Letter of Complaint

Vinci Park Services UK Ltd,Milton Keynes Partnership Parking OfficePO BOX 597NorthamptonNN4 7XN Dear Sirs, Ref CPN EG10570492 Please note the following; • Cost of 4 cinema tickets; £18.00• Cost of soft drinks and popcorn £ 12.00• Cost of car parking £ 4.50 • Cost of gust of wind flipping over car parking ticket (supplied with no adhesive) £ 30.00 Total cost of outing (excluding petrol and stress) £64.50 Morals of this outing; • Never expect an employee of Vinci Park UK Ltd Services to follow his heart or his morals. • Always expect the worst from your fellow human and you will not be disappointed. • When parking using the facilities of Milton Keynes Partnership always supply your own Sellotape, glue or adhesive. • Always pray to God for calm weather. • Remember to carry your blood pressure tablets and/or paracetamol with you at all times. Finally; remember that everyone

janeturley 7 August 2009 10 Comments

Drunken Ramblings

Well I should be doing some proper writing for The View from Here this evening while the gentlemen of the house are watching Barcelona v Tottenham (which of course means absolute joy for a man and absolute boredom for a woman.) Why oh why does the football season have to last soooo000000 long? It is bad enough having to endure 22 grown men kicking a ball around a field all year but us ladies also have to put up with Gary Linekar masquerading as a TV presenter and making insightful comments like “That was a good pass” or ” He saved that well.” Excellent. Truly excellent. Hmm… I seem to remember Gary saying years ago that he didn’t do a lot of headers because of the potential damage to the brain. Now I know why…. when you’ve only got a few brain cells it’s a good idea to preserve them.

janeturley 24 July 2009 11 Comments

Music Monday; Seasons in the Sun

So far on Music Mondays, I’ve always played songs that have brought back happy memories or ones which generally make me feel upbeat. But if you remember from my first Music Monday post I thought my participation in MM would also be an interesting opportunity for me to look back over my life whilst remembering some of the music which has accompanied me along the way. That’s why today I thought I’d play a song that I dislike – well perhaps “dislike” is too strong a word – but one which has always made me feel uncomfortable, if not sad. The song is question is Seasons in the Sun by Terry Jacks. Seasons in the Sun was a world wide hit in 1974. In the UK it was no 1 in the pop charts for 4 weeks in April of that same year. It’s a melancholic song in which a

janeturley 20 July 2009 8 Comments

I’m at it again!

Yep, I’m in the one of those crazy “let’s fiddle about with my blog” phases. I just can’t help it, I get bored easily. I know what I want but I can’t find it on the net and the thought of having to read all that jargon in order to do it myself makes me feel like dusting the house is actually an easier option. Anyway, I’ve temporarily put this piccy up. Who knows how long it will last!

janeturley 19 July 2009 12 Comments

You Don’t Always Need A Name

Yesterday, I as was driving back from one of my many daily outings I was, as usual, listening to the local radio when the DJ played an excerpt from a new Michael Jackson song. As it happens the song is a cover of one of my all time favorite songs A Horse With No Name by the folk rock group America. I can’t remember when I first heard this song but as it was recorded back in 1971 I think it must have been a long, long time ago! Nevertheless, despite the years having passed it remains a tune I am always pleased to hear. It’s nothing brash or bold but it has a rather addictive, seductive quality. The excerpt of Michael Jackson’s version on the radio sounded very interesting and distinctly “Michael” whilst still retaining the underlying appeal of the original song. I later found a longer excerpt on

janeturley 18 July 2009 3 Comments

The Last Day of Freedom!

Yep, today is my last day of freedom as it is the day every mother who still has her marbles hates – the day school breaks up! Is there sunshine? Am I sunbathing in the garden? No, cos there’s a thunderstorm and torrential rain. Yep, that’s British weather for you – almost as reliable as our transport system. So, wanting to make the most of my day, I decided to go to the swimming pool this morning and indulge myself in some quality quiet time where I could slip into my fantasy world. Yeah, you know the one folks – the one about men in skimpy undies rescuing me from a shoal of marauding piranhas. But it was not to be because when I got to the pool half of it had been roped of for one of those stomach churning, vomit in throat and heart attack inducing events…. No,

janeturley 17 July 2009 7 Comments

I’m Leaving on a Jet Plane!

Gosh, can you believe it but this year I will be travelling abroad for the first time since 1973! Of course back then I was barely out of my nappies (ho hum) but I still remember the signifcant points – the rooftop swimming pool, the attractive waiter who kept tickling my feet when he delivered the morning croissants, my little red suitcase (which I’ve still got), eating soul (the fish) almost every evening, pulling the emergency cord in the bathroom cos I thought it was the light switch and when the air hostess asked my nan if she wanted any toilette water piping up “Pooh, that must stink!” Yep, the sense of humour hasn’t got any better. Anyway, before I carry on something completely random has just popped into my mind -Apparently Brad Pitt has been dispensing his wisdom on internet dating. Now I don’t want to be rude –

janeturley 16 July 2009 12 Comments

Mania and Madness; Living and Dying in the Public Eye

I love Michael Jackson! Well, no actually I don’t. But I have admired Michael Jackson as an entertainer for many years. He was an extrordinarily gifted performer and few would doubt that he deserved his title as King of Pop. I always turn the radio up when I hear Jacko because the addictive beat of his music is guaranteed to get my feet tapping and put me in a good mood. I’m saddened though at his death which is a huge loss, not only to the music world, but to his family, to those who knew the real Michael Jackson and above all to his three small children. Nevertheless, despite all of his redeeming qualities, I still don’t love him. However, his death has set me thinking about the mania that often accompanies celebrity deaths and indeed, celebrity lives. In a sense, one can understand the out pouring of grief

janeturley 10 July 2009 11 Comments

Angels, Flies and a Little Bit of Feeling.

There’s been some sad news this week with the premature death of two icons of the modern era, Farrah Fawcett and Michael Jackson. Charlie’s Angels, which was the TV series that made a star out of Farrah, was huge in the UK when I was a teenager, as indeed it was all over the world. I don’t suppose there were many girls who didn’t imagine themselves as a sexy crime fighting cop or secret agent at some point. Of course, I never grew out of this bad habit which maybe why I spend a lot of time sticking bananas in my friend’s ribs and shouting “Freeze or the chocolate bar gets it.” (The chocolate bar “gets it” anyway but I just like that “power” feeling.) Now I’ll be honest, I never imagined myself as the stunning Farrah (Yep, even I know when I’m on a losing streak), more of a

janeturley 27 June 2009 13 Comments