The Witty Ways of a Wayward Woman

Music Mondays; Through the Barricades

The news hot of the music press here in the UK is that 80s supergroup Spandau Ballet have finally buried the hatchet and are reuniting for a tour which will kick off aboard HMS Belfast where the band first performed back in 1979. Spandau Ballet split up in 1989 after relationships between the band members began to deteriorate. All the Spandau Ballet songs, of which True is the most famous, were written by guitarist Gary Kemp. However, the other band members, excluding Gary’s brother Martin, claimed that Gary had promised them a share of the royalties, a claim he subsequently disputed. The argument went to court and eventually it ruled in favour of Gary. This left the other band members facing huge legal bills and on the edge of financial ruin. So it’s not surprising that this reunion has come as a big shock to many despite the recent success

janeturley 15 February 2009 9 Comments

A professional love story

A few weeks ago I popped round to my friend Miss L’s house for a cuppa. Miss L had a few days off work and needed some guidance on how to maximize her cleaning efficiency and of course I felt it my duty to regale her with some useful household tips such as; 1. Tie dusters around your slippers and then you will never have to polish the kitchen floor. 2. Strap a broom to your head so you never have to consciously clean cobwebs from the ceiling. 3. Always wear rubber gloves. Not only will this keep your hands soft but you will be fully prepared for when the local MP calls round trying to solicit your vote. When he says “Can I hold your baby?” You reply, “Thank God, I thought I was going to have to deliver it myself.” I guarantee your MP will leg it. In

janeturley 14 February 2009 2 Comments

Valentine Oh Valentine (3)

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janeturley 13 February 2009 No Comments

Valentine Oh Valentine (2)

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janeturley 13 February 2009 1 Comment

Valentine Oh Valentine! (1)

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janeturley 13 February 2009 No Comments

MY 100th POST !!

Well this in the 100th post here on my blog The Witty Ways of Wayward Wife. So for all my loyal readers who have been curious to find out some of my more intimate details which I’ve kept under wraps here’s some absolutely fascinating and riveting facts about me. It should give you huge insight into the mind of the Housewife Extraordinaire. Here we go; 1. As a teenager I once bought a pair of bright green trousers with large leaves on them. On showcasing them to my parents, my father looked slowly over the top of his glasses, put his hand his pocket and pulled out a ten pound note and handed it to me. He said nothing; words were not necessary. 2. I used to play a clarinet until some told me you were meant to make music with it. 3. I used to play the guitar …until

janeturley 11 February 2009 25 Comments

Music Mondays; Mary’s Prayer

Well I’m way behind with almost everything at the moment as the young masters were off school for four days last week with school closures and now more heavy snow is expected tonight. NO, NO, NO! It’s a conspiracy to drive me bananas! Hmm, okay. I may already be bananas. But let’s face it I can’t afford to get any worse. I don’t want my relatives contesting my will when they discover I’ve left all my worldly goods to Britt Allcroft. You may question why I would want to leave my assets to Britt Allcroft. But, hey it just tickled my fancy at the idea of the young masters discovering it when I snuff it. Revenge is kinda sweet isn’t it? So it’s going to be quick(ish) posts this week. Here’s an all time favourite song of mine from 1987 by the group Danny Wilson. It’s a song which I

janeturley 9 February 2009 3 Comments

Ahhhhhhhh….. The Cat from Hell

As I write it is 3.55 am. I have been woken AGAIN by my cats. I have three cats, one is completely normal and the other two are stark raving mad. I mean seriously bonkers. They persecute me; I’m convinced that they consider it their duty to see if they can make me throw myself out of the window through lack of sleep. Which I may do just to rub their noses in it because if they think anyone other than me will put up with their lunatic ways they are sadly mistaken. Now how did I acquire the first of these two instruments of torture? Okay, cat one Tigga (aka Beelzebub) was a gift. Yes, A GIFT. Now please accept my advice -Never give anyone an animal for a gift because if the animal turns out to be a pain in the arse the recipient WILL HATE YOU FOR

janeturley 6 February 2009 19 Comments

Music Mondays; It’s snowing!

Hey, it snowing! Here’s a few piccys; The view from our village green looking towards the nearby hills. Master Ben goes sledging. Boy, is that kid trouble. Can’t you just tell? The village church. I think we ought to hear something with a snowy feel this morning. So here’s the wonderful Snow Patrol with Chasing Cars; And if you’re interested here’s a short clip of London in the snow early this morning! Come join Music Monday and share your songs with us. One simple rule, leave ONLY the actual post link here. You can grab this code at LJL Please note these links are STRICTLY for Music Monday participants only. All others will be deleted without prejudice.

janeturley 2 February 2009 12 Comments

Fish Pie, Cookies, Loo Rolls and Modern Art.

Now it’s just possible if you’ve been reading my blog for a while you may have picked up some subtle hints that I don’t like cooking. Although I’ve plenty of interest in eating I’ve as much interest in cooking as Barry White had performing in leotards. I have been trying lately though. (Well, I’m trying most days) But I meant trying at cooking. On Tuesday I made beef stew. I didn’t quite around to the dumplings but I thought the mothballs made an easy substitute and no one seemed to notice the difference! Yesterday, I was even more daring and made fish pie! I know you’re interested in my culinary genuis so here’s how I did it; Well, I used fish. (Obviously) Now I had some frozen white fish. It may even have been a brand like Cod or Haddock but I’m not sure. (Btw that IS a joke. Just

janeturley 29 January 2009 20 Comments

Music Monday; Two Little Boys ( A play)

THE CAST Master Benedict: good looking 8 year old, supremely fit and athletic (inherited from mother) budding comedian, impressionist and generally annoying little chap. Likes his mother to check his “cleanliness” so that he claim 50p a time much to his mother’s general displeasure. Master Jacob: good looking 10 year old, supremely fit and athletic, (inherited from mother ) shy, sensitive little fellow. Likes to whop the pants of his tennis opponents to the delight and general bragging of his mother so that he can claim a weeks’ worth of abstinence from his mother’s cooking. Mrs T: Youthful looking 29 year old. (Once) supremely fit and athletic, now letting it all hang out. Amusingly stupid with a penchant for Pierce Brosnan, chocolate and hats. Prone to delusions of grandeur, youth, prescription pralines and writing a best selling book titled “Misery is housework but happiness is being trapped by an obsessed

janeturley 25 January 2009 23 Comments

We need to talk about Barack.

History would probably say that Martin Luther King was the first Black man to capture the hearts and minds of a generation, to inspire men and women of all races to recognise the justice of equality and to have a profound and long lasting effect on modern society. But what about the other Black man ? The other Black man is, of course, Barack Obama. On Tuesday, January 20th Barack Obama took the Oath of Office of the American Presidency and for that alone whatever follows, be it good, bad or indifferent, his name will always be remembered for the being the first African-American President of the United States. It was truly a significant moment for the world, the United States and for Barack Obama; a moment that perhaps only those who have shared a similar struggle can truly appreciate. In Britain, this personal triumph was matched by the election

janeturley 22 January 2009 12 Comments