The Witty Ways of a Wayward Woman

Dancing with insomnia

Now rumour has it Craig David wrote his latest song Insomnia for me. It’s a groovy little number currently getting a lot of airplay in the UK and if I get bored in the night surfing the net or writing I can always have a little jiggle along to it. By the way I should say out that hot pants like the leading lady is wearing in the video should not be allowed. Obscene! Older gals like me just want to sing along not be shamed into getting out the cellulite scrub. Yeah, okay Craig didn’t write the song for me but a girl can dream can’t she?! Oh wait…dreaming is what you do when you sleep….. damn…fooled again….. Copyright Jane Turley 2008

janeturley 1 December 2008 9 Comments

Bad day, bad week

It’s been a pretty tough week. Early on, I made a trip back to Weston to sort some of my mother’s possessions and then on the way home I made a detour to clear my parent’s grave and plant a small shrub. They were sad, depressing tasks and I felt a little forlorn at the graveside, alone, on bleak winter’s afternoon. And then… just when I needed to cheer myself up, my broadband packed up for nearly three days, my tooth broke and I spent 3 hours in casualty with Master Jacob who had a possible fractured wrist. Chuck in a few burnt teas, a teenage son and not winning The National Lottery AGAIN and you have one well stressed out woman. However, the good news is; I didn’t crash into any other car! Hurrah! However, Master Benedict’s Tonka Toy collection is now looking a bit worse for wear. And

janeturley 29 November 2008 12 Comments

Against the clock

Whilst catching up on some of my blogging friends this morning I popped over to Laura’s site Delighted Scribbler who is one of my newest blogging friends and what a surprise was in store for me. For Laura has discovered a new application called Write or Die where you can set yourself writing targets against the clock. And if you want to be particularly masochistic you can put it into kamikaze mode whereby if you don’t write fast enough your words will disappear before your very eyes! So this is what I am doing right now! I’ve set at target of 1500 words in 30 minutes. I’ve no idea at what speed I normally write; I’m not one for timing and organization I just write what I feel and when I feel like it which probably explains why I haven’t finished my book yet! I also find it very easy

janeturley 19 November 2008 29 Comments

Ugh, I have insomnia!

Okay we’ll get to the loo cleaner in a minute. Perhaps because it’s the nearly 3 am nothing will do what I want it to do! Or it could be that I’m stupid! Anyway…here’s where I actually started… Yes, yes yes. It’s 1.55 am and I have insomnia again. Obviously this means I am either a genius or I am nuts. Somehow I think it’s got more to do with being nuts. Anyhow I am just going to write off the cuff. Tricky in these pyjamas with long baggy sleeves but I’ll give it a try. You know just when I think my insomnia is getting better it gets worse again. Humph. Maybe it something all Mrs Ts share because apparently the really famous Mrs T, Mrs Thatcher, hardly needed any sleep either. Mind you in the early hours she was probably doing something constructive like drafting Laws, writing speeches

janeturley 19 November 2008 6 Comments

Moments in History

Sometimes a man steps forwards from the ranks and brings with him hope, faith and a belief in mankind. His path has been laid since birth. His life has been a long, challenging journey to bring him to this one moment in time; the moment where he will change the future and restore balance to the world. He may have been born in poverty, raised by a substitute mother and faced adversity because of his ancestry but one day he will have such presence, such power, that he will become an unstoppable force for change. You know exactly who I mean. Don’t you? Yep, that’s right; Luke Skywalker. Cripes can you believe it? It’s over 30 years since Star Wars hit the screens! I remember queuing up to watch it back in 1977 and I’ve been addicted to it ever since. Yep, I’m one of those losers who can quote

janeturley 17 November 2008 11 Comments

Just because I felt like it

I’m in a reflective mood at the moment as most most people are after a bereavement but my thoughts have reminded me of one of my favourite films All of Me starring the very talented Steve Martin. The excerpt below is all about life after death but done in the most entertaining fashion possible. The first time I saw this film and particularly the last 3 minutes or so of this clip I absolutely fell about laughing so stick with the clip till the end- you won’t regret it. I’m laughing right now and I’ve watched it countless times – and if you ever get the chance to watch the film in full I heartily recommend it!

janeturley 14 November 2008 4 Comments

Love letters, car crashes and tanks. (Beat that for diversity.)

While I was sorting through some of my mother’s photos and memorabilia I was delighted to find two love letters from my father written in the early fifties. They were utterly sweet and charming with little drawings scattered amongst the prose and I will always treasure them as a reminder of my parent’s love for each other. It did lead me to think, regretfully, that I’ve never actually had a love letter from Mr T. Humph. Big time. Although to be fair I’ve had some really lovely thoughtful gifts. If you exclude the Sat Nav system … and the printer….. However, I’m not complaining as the printer has proved exceptionally useful. In fact I’m now pretty skilled at producing counterfeit twenty pound notes, duplicating letters to harass supermarkets so I get free vouchers for prepackaged meals and scanning copyright piccys of Pierce so I can sell them in the school

janeturley 7 November 2008 17 Comments

A Chapter Closes

Growing old can be difficult. I often joke about wrinkles, flab and ageing but in truth none of these can compare to losing the ones we love. Learning to live without their touch, the sound of their voice or the smile upon their face can be extraordinarily difficult and heartbreaking. My family and I have had our fair share of grief this year. As those of you who have been reading this blog from the beginning will know my mother in law, Audrey, died just after Christmas, then there was the tragic and shocking death of former sister in law, my mother’s sudden death earlier this month and now on Friday morning last week my father in law, Raymond. For the last few months Ray had been living round the corner from us with my sister in law. I like to think that the remaining weeks in the bosom of

janeturley 2 November 2008 7 Comments

A last farewell; An eulogy for my mother

Christina was born in London, the eldest of three daughters. Both her parents came from large working class families and were naturally very keen to improve their prospects. Christina’s mother was a furrier by trade and her father, possessing an astute head for business, eventually became a company director. Soon after Christina’s birth her father’s career entailed a move near Stroud, in Gloucestershire. Newly accommodated in a large Victorian house, the family was extended with the birth of a sister, and then some years later by yet another. The grounds of Glenmore, as the family home was known, offered an idyllic setting for a growing family. Christina often talked of her youth with affection and her vast knowledge of shrubs and flowers were the result of days spent playing in the fields and gardens. Christina also recalled with clarity the events of the Second World War which featured so poignantly

janeturley 30 October 2008 12 Comments

Christina; A life in pictures

Christina, my beloved mother. 31. 7. 1935 – 15.10. 2008

janeturley 18 October 2008 22 Comments

Bloggers Unite for Poverty 2008

Do you miss me MummyDown in your shallow graveDried, brittle bones in the barren earthI miss your touch MummyYour sweet embrace Will you miss me DaddyWrapped in your scruffy shroudWasted, crinkled corpse in the sterile soilI miss your smile DaddyYour adoring laugh My stomach is empty MummyMy limbs are lank and lifelessI need a bowlful of rice MummyBut no one listensAnd no one comes My mouth is parched DaddyMy throat is swollen and soreI need a cupful of water DaddyBut no one listensAnd no one comes I think I’ll lie down MummyThe sun is strong and searingI need a spoonful of rice MummyBut no one listensAnd no one comes I think I’ll rest now DaddyThe days are long and lingerI need a mouthful of water DaddyBut no one listensAnd no one comes I think I’ll close my eyes MummyThe dark is warm and welcomingI think I’ll sleep forever DaddyBut no

janeturley 14 October 2008 6 Comments

Books and me.

Oh poor Mrs T has a cold. It started in my throat and head and then went to my dose. I ate it when it’s in my dose coz den I can’t dalk prowperly….. Anyway, thought I’d do a quickie post. This is a tag from Master Sy in which I have to tell 6 book related things about me… so here goes….1.The worst book I’ve read recently is The Love Bug by Zoe Barnes. I bought it at the library clearout for 20p. I had some loose change in my purse and I decided to buy one book from every genre that was in the clearance pile. This was the Chick Lit one and I was attracted to the pink cover like I am to candyfloss but in the same way that I find candyfloss too sweet so was this book. In fact it was like a sweet that

janeturley 12 October 2008 12 Comments