2500 x 500

The often dubious, politically incorrect and mainly humorous musings of Ms Jane Turley, (Ex) Housewife Extraordinaire.

A (quick) Christmas Quiz

In case you’ve been wondering where I’ve been and where is my promised short story collection, here’s a short picture quiz which should enable you to deduce the answer.

My laptop, featuring a picture of my forthcoming short story collection.

A cup of green tea and lemon. (This mug was a gift from a friend  who, I think, was trying to give me a subtle message. Jokingly, of course.)

Speaks for itself really.

Yep, so there you have it; I drowned my laptop. In true Mrs T form, I manage to completely wreck it. However, as I try to look on the bright side of things, you might be interested to know that I can now personally vouch for cleaning properties of green tea and lemon. You may be even more interested to know that a range of previously unknown obscenities will be published in the English dictionary next year.

Anyway, to add to the hellish inconvenience of not being able to continue work on my stories, I couldn’t do my Christmas shopping on the internet. Gross. I actually had to brave the shopping malls. This is a truly horrifying experience for me, especially as I seem to have one of those faces where people seem to want to stop and talk to me. Thus I was duly inflicted with several bizarre conversations about plastic jugs and tomato ketchup by strange people who for some reason thought I’d be interested in such things. Personally, I blame John Lewis for attracting too many menopausal women. Next time I go Christmas shopping in a mall, I am going to put lipstick on my eyes and eye-shadow on my lips thereby identifying me as a nutter who should be avoided at all costs. Hopefully, I will be able to do my Christmas shopping in peace then.

So anyhow I finally got my repaired laptop back on the 23rd December and since then have had too many family commitments to log on. So here I am at last to wish you all a Merry Christmas and a happy and healthy 2014. I will be back shortly with news on my now delayed short story collection and, hopefully, an update on progress with my novel submissions. In the meantime, thank you all for reading The Witty Ways of a Wayward Wife.


See you soon!

Latest Posts
New Website

After 18 years on another CMS, I have moved my blog to a more versatile platform. However, it will take some time while I perform some jiggery-pokery to get it exactly how I want it. So please bear with me as things fall off the page, are posted upside down and so on. It has also beome apparent that I will have to edit hundreds of posts as importing them has screwed up all the post layouts, especially paragraphs. This

Read More »
A Chicken Nugget A Day Keeps Justice Away

I have been forced. Yes, forced to come out of blog hibernation to comment on the latest scandal to hit the UK. God knows I have been tempted multiple times in the last few years to comment on some of the insane things happening in the UK and in the world, but sadly, life has just thrown too many curve balls at me. But today, I can take no more – I cannot keep my mouth shut any longer over

Read More »
My Nominees for the US and UK Elections and Other Waffle

It’s the early hours of the morning, and I have had a large gin… Late-night alcohol is always a good recipe for writing gibberish. And I have not written gibberish for a while on my blog as I have been busy writing gibberish for my MA in Comedy Writing. Which I recently passed with a distinction. Yay! Yes, it transpires that even academics can be fooled into thinking gibberish is genius. Excellent. So anyway, I have written two sitcoms, a

Read More »
Less is More (well that’s my excuse and I’m sticking to it)

I’ve been practising my haikus, which you may recall, I’m not particularly good at. However, I wanted to address the woke issue in a concise, meaningful way as it is such a serious matter for discussion and particularly relevant to me as a comic writer. Which, if you know me,  translates as: 1) I’m too lazy to write a long analytical post. And 2) I’d rather watch a movie and eat tortilla chips. However, I feel obliged to say my

Read More »
Sixteen Years On

So this post is just going to be a stream of possibly (wildly erratic) thoughts. So hang on to your breeches; we could go anywhere with them.   Cripes, I only managed three posts last year. And I call myself a writer? Pathetic! Though, to be fair to me, almost everyone who was blogging with me in 2007/8 no longer blogs or blogs even less than I do now. A few later blogs are still going, so kudos to those

Read More »
Are You Having A Laugh?

An ex-secret service agent with a personality problem and a desire for imperial glory. An aged president who looks like he’s got a giant fork prong stuck up his arse to keep him upright. A floppy-haired bumbling classics graduate with a predisposition for crass decisions. A tinpot dictator who showcases his weapons like a movie trailer. A comedian who has found himself elevated to global status.  If the world wasn’t on the brink of war this surely would be the

Read More »

4 responses

  1. Mrs. T, hope you, the boys and Mr. T all had a great Christmas with all the trimmings and wishing you a grand 2014. I had a good Christmas–my first ever white one.

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *