The often dubious, politically incorrect and mainly humorous musings of Ms Jane Turley, (Ex) Housewife Extraordinaire.
Tihs posst waaaaaaas going tto be aboooutttt “gulags ” so i loook bra iny as I”m worrird peopke mifgt thimk I’m stipid/
Bit i can@T finnd my asses.
GLLASSES
(‘m hopping I wil l fiiiid theeeeeM by tomotoe/
TOMMORROE
Leavvvvvw ideas for H pleass/
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| fetting old is shhit/ |
After 18 years on another CMS, I have moved my blog to a more versatile platform. However, it will take some time while I perform some jiggery-pokery to get it exactly how I want it. So please bear with me as things fall off the page, are posted upside down and so on. It has also beome apparent that I will have to edit hundreds of posts as importing them has screwed up all the post layouts, especially paragraphs. This
I have been forced. Yes, forced to come out of blog hibernation to comment on the latest scandal to hit the UK. God knows I have been tempted multiple times in the last few years to comment on some of the insane things happening in the UK and in the world, but sadly, life has just thrown too many curve balls at me. But today, I can take no more – I cannot keep my mouth shut any longer over
It’s the early hours of the morning, and I have had a large gin… Late-night alcohol is always a good recipe for writing gibberish. And I have not written gibberish for a while on my blog as I have been busy writing gibberish for my MA in Comedy Writing. Which I recently passed with a distinction. Yay! Yes, it transpires that even academics can be fooled into thinking gibberish is genius. Excellent. So anyway, I have written two sitcoms, a
I’ve been practising my haikus, which you may recall, I’m not particularly good at. However, I wanted to address the woke issue in a concise, meaningful way as it is such a serious matter for discussion and particularly relevant to me as a comic writer. Which, if you know me, translates as: 1) I’m too lazy to write a long analytical post. And 2) I’d rather watch a movie and eat tortilla chips. However, I feel obliged to say my
So this post is just going to be a stream of possibly (wildly erratic) thoughts. So hang on to your breeches; we could go anywhere with them. Cripes, I only managed three posts last year. And I call myself a writer? Pathetic! Though, to be fair to me, almost everyone who was blogging with me in 2007/8 no longer blogs or blogs even less than I do now. A few later blogs are still going, so kudos to those
An ex-secret service agent with a personality problem and a desire for imperial glory. An aged president who looks like he’s got a giant fork prong stuck up his arse to keep him upright. A floppy-haired bumbling classics graduate with a predisposition for crass decisions. A tinpot dictator who showcases his weapons like a movie trailer. A comedian who has found himself elevated to global status. If the world wasn’t on the brink of war this surely would be the
16 responses
Haha love this – perfectly got the message across!
Debbie
Clever. Reminds me of the time I was doing push ups one morning when our dog, a surly Shi-tzu called Gizmo, decided to get underneath me with the resulting headbutt breaking my glasses. I had to go to work with sticky tape holding them together. Not happy.
I have no suggestions for your H post, but whatever you come up with will be quite brilliant I'm sure. Oh, what about headbanging (that's my A to Z theme) Visit Square Pegs for inspiration. 😉
Totally totally resonates with me. Sometimes I don't even remember what I'm looking for…..
Delighted you enjoyed it, Debbie:)
I'm impressed by the push-ups DA! I used to work out but since I've been back in full-time employment finding the time to do anything but stay on top of everything and I've done zero writing – hence making concerted effort to do A to Z even when I'm knackered – hoping the momentum will carry me forward into completing the sequel to my novel and/or other writing.
You know I never really know what I'm going to write about until the very last minute – but then that's half the fun! Headbanging is lodged in my brain though so who know….
Oh yes Bellybytes I know that feeling. Sometimes I don't even know my own kids names and have to run through the list (sometimes several times) before I get the right name! Fortunately, they find it funny. I just worry about it as I don't even have dementia yet… things can only get worse!
When my Mum stayed with us briefly before being admitted to a care home due to Alzheimer's she lost her glasses. We searched high and low and of course it was all my fault. What I wasn't accused of doing isn't worth mentioning. I finally tried to put myself in her shoes and go through her actions and discovered them inside a box of tissues next to her bed. She'd obviously got into bed, taken them off and then, for reasons best known to her, she'd pushed them inside the tissue box. Except of course she hadn't. Wouldn't possibly have done that. It was still my fault.
I can't imagine trying to do anything if I lost my glasses!
That's what I always do, Wendy – try and think logically. This is after many many years ago when I was about to take my driving test and couldn't find my provisional driving licence. I ripped the house apart looking for it but nevertheless had to cancel my exam (much to my disappointment at the very last moment.) I then decided to go back and look for it logically – and yes it was in the place I'd thought I'd left it – my handbag. In a slim zipped pocket I'd overseen in my panic….My motto is always go back to the place it should be. (Although that didn't work for my car keys which I found in the bin covered in spaghetti bolognese!)
It's a right pain isn't it, Danielle – I can only imagine how difficult it must have been to have lived to a great age in medieval times without modern day glasses to help you along.
Excellent! My reading glasses are totally useless for my computer but work very well otherwise. Would be completely lost without them now.
For H you can write about either Harlequin the book company, or Harlequin the character (ye olden days or in the current Marvel universe)
Having to use reading glasses so much lately, is such a pain and I hate it. They are always on my head or tip of my nose. I didn't realize so many years ago that I should have better appreciated my eyesight. Your life depends upon it.
Always check the top of your head first when looking for glasses! Fun post.😊
Perspectives at Life & Faith in Caneyhead
Id already written my H post G, when your comment came through but those are great suggestions- hopefully I'll remember them for next year.
Oh yes Barbara – I was walking around town one day and went to look for my glasses in my bag and couldn't find them. I tapped my head and there were two pairs there!
I agree it is a pain – I feel grateful I only had to start wearing them in my forties. What a burden to have them when you're a child…