How I learnt to fly and other news

So if you’ve been wondering where I have been of late, I have been having one of those interludes where life all goes pear-shaped. Hence the lack of blogging.

In the last two weeks, amongst a number of other longer-term issues I have had to contend with, I’ve filled my car up with the wrong petrol (not quite as bad a crashing it which is my usual norm), had a very unpleasant bout of food poisoning and discovered one of my sons is dyslexic.

Let’s deal with this dyslexia diagnosis first.

Now some of you who have read this blog for a long time may recall that, on occasions, I have indulged in the odd vitriolic educational rant.

And, quite frankly, this very late diagnosis of dyslexia seems to justify yet another one. My poor son has endured twelve years of being ignored by the state school system – in spite of very vocal attempts by me to bring his obvious difficulties to the attention of his teachers.

So I am afraid, that even with all the good will in the world, I cannot find any excuse for the appalling negligence I have witnessed which has had a very negative effect on my son’s education and emotional well-being.

Anyhow, I am not going to go into one of my full-blown rants today. I have already had enough verbal ones these past two weeks and I am tired of fighting. I’m gonna save myself for an article in The Daily Mail. (That should really get their backs up at school!)

I will also spare you the details of my food poisoning. Only to say it was pretty darn awful and it was NOT the result of my own cooking. It took me quite a few days to get over it. Aside from the very obvious side effects (I don’t think I’ll go into the details other than to say there is now a shortage of look rolls in the Western hemisphere) the most unpleasant one was how much my stomach bloated (more than it usually does!) after I had started to eat again. It blew up to such a proportion I looked like I was pregnant with hippo triplets.

And, of course, what goes up must come down. (Said the nurse to the vicar) This means that in the course of time my stomach had to de-bloat.

That is when I discovered the art of levitation.

This is Mr Salmonella who was residing in my gut for a while. I issued him with a parking ticket, but he still overstayed his welcome. Bastard.

Anyway, on to other news. If you are a registered Netgalley reviewer you can pick The Changing Room up for free in exchange for an honest review. If not, it’s on offer for a few days at £1.99/$2.99 before my relaunch starts on the 24th. You can check it out on Amazon here.

Back to the bonkers stuff from now on. Hurrah.