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The often dubious, politically incorrect and mainly humorous musings of Ms Jane Turley, (Ex) Housewife Extraordinaire.

My Analysis of Recent Articles at The Guardian

Blimey, I haven’t even had time to write my list of lost things yet and The Guardian are already banging on about feminism again. Apparently, it’s not okay to call women “girls” but it okay to call men “boys.”

Surely, there’s more to life than that to complain about? I can think of some really big issues worth having a rant about. I could even make up some stories to rant about. Maybe about something I’ve lost. (Not a ring obviously – see last post.) How about when I lost my virginity? That’s got to be a hell of a lot more interesting to just about everyone including feminists and misogynists.

Anyway, I am happy if a man wants to call me a “girl.” The fact that he would probably be 95 years old, blind and suffer from senile dementia is irrelevant – it would still make me feel young and sexy.

The Guardian are also whinging about the niceness of the Royal Christening photos today. What bores. Anyway, I can’t take that article seriously as it’s written by someone who is clearly an Elvis impersonator.

Anyway, being an expert in analysis I have created this pie chart so you can easily see for yourselves what is happening lately at The Guardian.

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“Brilliant, could identify with all of this! Thank you for making me smile today! ”
Nikki on the BBC Column Mum's The Word
Nikki on the BBC Column Mum's The Word
"This book is by far one of the funniest I have ever read."
Amazon Reviewer
Amazon Reviewer
"I just loved this book so much. Could not put it down once I started and definitely couldn't drink anything while reading it or I would have sprayed it all over my Kindle. I can't wait to read more from Jane Turley, a truly great author. My son and husband both just look at me strangely while reading cause I would just burst out laughing or tear up one minute or another. Very very good book."
Amazon Reviewer
Amazon Reviewer
"I just wanted to say a big thank you for the lovely author event you did for us on February 20th. It was well put together and very interesting. You certainly kept the audience enthralled with your experiences of self-publishing."
Jane Gill, Bedfordshire Libaries.
"Concrete but mysterious, "No Returns" reads more like a prose poem, full of exquisite turns of phrase such as the deep purple essence dilutes to shadows of lilac bindweed, warm, inviting. This is a desperate woman's life in miniature, full of sexually poignant poetry and glimpse of everyday strangeness. A worthy winner."
Ray Robinson, AuthorCEO
“Wry and self-deprecating ....verging on verbal slapstick at times... packed with sustained intelligent humor and certainly funnier than most ....”
Nomination in Blogger's Choice Awards 2008
"Readwave are enormously pleased to publish Jane Turley's chilling but poignant story The Princess and the Thief, and we're even more delighted to bring this story across the world through our Worldreader programme."
Readwave CEOCEO
You know how women like to waffle on a bit? Well, every once in a million, one of them comes along that is so funny, you don't want them to stop. Not for a second. Natural talent combined with a great story makes this a must read. Buy it, believe me, you won't be disappointed."
Amazon Review
"Having been a follower of Jane's Blog for a number of years I have learnt not to drink whilst reading her blogs having once sprayed tea over my laptop with laughter. This book was no exception. For those with a weak bladder reading on the toilet or wearing TENA pants would be advisable."
Amazon Revieweer
"I could not put this book down until I finished it. Sandy life will make you laugh and cry. But her life is just like yours and mine. So many things to do and so many difficult choices to make. This is a comedy drama book that is a "must read.""
Amazon Reviewer