There was a buffoon called Johnson
Who thought he was Charles Bronson
But he fucked-up Brexit
So attempted to exit
Dressed as a woman in Labour
Unfortunately for Boris
No one was fooled by “Doris”
So he pulled out a gun
Broke into a run
But was caught in the commons by Keir Starmer
“But… but…. but, Boris stuttered
“Brexit is oven-ready. And buttered!”
“Don’t give me that clap-trap,
You’re just a tabloid hack
And as thick as a brain-dead lama”
As Boris started to weep and plead
Keir pulled out a writ and began to read
“I don’t need no fancy prose
Let’s pelt him with tomatoes
And leave him for the Tories to dismember!”
But out of the throng rushed Dom
Fresh from his castle with aplomb
“I’ll save the day,” he said
His face a beetroot red
“We will never give up or surrender!”
“Not you again, Dominic
You’re a number one prick!”
Said Keir as he summoned the judge
“We’re done with this fudge.
And you and your visionless glasses.”
Then out of the chambers came Her Majesty
To sort out the political travesty
“It is time for the tower
On your knees and cower
You’re a pair of unwholesome arses!”
Down went her thumb
As a guard beat the drum
And Boris and Dom were hauled away
“Let’s do this in style,” said the Queen with a
smile
“Take the offenders and whip them in my blenders!”
So this is the end of this sorry tale
Where justice did rightly prevail
There is some last advice
Which I hope
will suffice
To ensure this will never repeat
Never, ever, piss off our Queen
She’s old, stubborn and very mean.
And when she is moody
She will mix a smoothie
Made from kale and her secret cream.
30 responses
I like your rhyme scheme! Thanks for sharing 🙂
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