Yep, it’s that time of year when I double my intake of painkillers – the school holidays. So that means I am not around so much merely because every time I settle down to do some writing I get a request for food.
You see the problem with teenage sons is they never stop eating. It’s okay for you parents of girls because they are almost always watching their weight but try adopting three sons and then you’ll know real misery. As soon as I’ve washed up from one meal and sat down with a coffee a Young Master appears from nowhere with one of the three following questions:
“Have we got anything to eat?”
“What’s for tea/lunch/breakfast?”
“Have you been shopping yet?”
Now since I like to look on the bright side of things, I am consoling myself that Young Sam is still away at college completing his MA so my food-making capacity only needs to be a two-thirds output. However, the bad news is the two younger masters are both very sporty and can eat their weight in food in a day. Basically, they have massive appetites and can eat any old rubbish and get away with it – which is why it was huge mistake on my part to allow Young Master Benedict to come shopping with me yesterday.
To cut a long story short – I had a panic attack at the checkout. Because after Master Benedict had filled the trolley with all sorts of goodies including profiteroles, three DVDs, crisps, cookies, cherry coke and an assortment of other luxuries the bills was so big I thought I might have to take out a second mortgage. Instead I just passed out and woke up in the car seat with him sitting next to me eating profiteroles and scanning the backs of his newly acquired DVDS.
So anyway, I probably won’t around much the next few weeks. Just popping in with a few pithy remarks from time to time – usually in the early hours of the morning when the boys are asleep and they and their stomachs haven’t woken up.
