I have been challenged by an old school friend, Jacqui Crowe, via Facebook, to come up with five positive thoughts for five days. That’s pretty tough going even for the eternal optimistic like me but I am going to try my best. Now just for a bit of background information, Jacqui and I went to a state school and were in many of the same classes and played in the school hockey team together. Our hockey team put the fear of God in those posh girls from the private schools. They were no match for us because girls who have survived the terror of state school toilets have NO fear. We were hard, ruthless and, even though some of us had furry pencil cases, we had a reputation as being near invincible. Think Britney Spears in her gym-slip with with a flame-thrower and a bazooka and you’re just about there. We didn’t have mouth-guards, shin-guards and most of us didn’t even even have hockey boots but we still got stuck into the opposition in Rambo-like fashion. Anyhow, needless to say, with all this activity on the playing fields we all got a few bruises and bumps on the legs -which leads to my first positive thought for the day:
1. I am absolutely convinced that Jacqui is going to get varicose veins before me. It seems only fair as she waaaayyyy thinner than me. I had a reasonable amount of “insulation” as a teenager but now I have even more insulation I am convinced any varicose veins will not be at all noticeable. ‘Course, it’ll be tough on Jacqui when I post close-ups of my blemish-free legs on Facebook but you know – where needs must.
2. My second positive thought for the day is:
I am not dead. Yippee. You know the best thing about being alive is – you’re not dead. And you get to eat chocolate and have sex. And, if you’re lucky, you get to do both at the same time. When you get to my age you have to be grateful for every day you get. And I am truly grateful I’m getting to watch my kids grow up, fulfil my ambitions and get to watch lots of Jason Statham films. What could be better? I’m going to celebrate in a minute with some chocolate. I might have some sex later too – but that depends if Mr T still has enough pocket money left over from the weekend.
3. My third positive thought for the day is:
I am so so happy my beloved chicken, Miss Agatha, is still alive. Every morning at the crack of dawn there is a strangely dressed woman, usually wearing Crocs five sizes too big for her, pyjamas and sporting a dishevelled haircut who rushes into our garden when Miss Agatha starts crowing (sadly Miss Agatha is a bit confused about her gender) and lifts a large spade over Miss Agatha’s head. Somehow, just as the spade is about to fall the strange woman appears to come to her senses, gives Miss Agatha some food, a sharp telling off and disappears again. Bizarre.
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| Miss Agatha is named after Agatha Christie. And yes she is nosey. However, she doesn’t wear a tweed hat. Well not yet anyway. She’s put in a request for one but I’ve turned her down on the basis I need to save for some ear muffs and a machete. |
4. My fourth positive thought for the day is:
You know Tunnocks’ marshmallow biscuits? The round ones in the silver and red foil? Well – they were on offer in the supermarket last week and I bought two packets. And I haven’t told anyone else.
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| Tunnocks biscuits. Yummy. Not available to the young masters without prior testing by Mrs Jane Turley, Housewife Extraordinaire. Piccy courtesy of Wikipedia. |
5. My fifth and final positive thought for the day is:
Apparently, Robin Thicke’s new album has only sold about 500 copies.
So there we have it – 5 positive thoughts for the day. And now cos it’s the last full week before the school week I have other things I need to blog about.
Okay, so on Saturday the last of my paperback proofs arrived which was an edition of A Modern Life. I’ve had two editions made of both my books – the same covers but the Amazon editions are on white paper and the other two, which will be for all other outlets, are on cream paper. Anyway, now that I have approved the last proofs, I shall be placing a bulk order in anticipation of a flood of requests for signed copies. (Ho hum) I will also be sending out review copies and fulfilling any promises I’ve made to readers about receiving a free book. That’s it. More ramblings tomorrow.
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| My books – oh and a poster in the middle. I’m going to stick one in my bathroom. |
