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The often dubious, politically incorrect and mainly humorous musings of Ms Jane Turley, (Ex) Housewife Extraordinaire.

Trouble in the School Changing Rooms

Yes, there has been trouble in the school changing rooms this week. Young Master Jacob has twice had money stolen from a zipped pocket in his trousers, resulting in him not being able to buy his lunch.

Obviously, I am not pleased about this, especially as I have experienced first hand the trouble one can have with school bullies. (  I recounted one “fight” episode in my blog post Kenny & Dolly & The Adventurous Tales of Mrs T .)

So, naturally,  I was discussing strategies with Master Jacob prior to school this morning. As I was doing so, Master Benedict returned from the bathroom where his teeth had undergone the rare experienced of being cleaned.

“Why don’t you just box him?” says Master Ben. (I should point out Master Jacob has a suspicion he knows who the culprit is.)

Now the same thought had crossed my mind as it is a tad silly to mess with Master Jacob who is 6ft 2in, plays several sports to a high level and recently has been learning how to box. However, being a reasonable woman, I mumbled something about violence not being a good thing blah, blah, blah, appeasement blah, blah, blah and turning the other cheek blah, blah, blah.

Master Benedict, however, thought differently and launched into imaginary fight with accompanying commentary which included the words “kick”, “butt”, “testicles” and looked rather like the fight scene in the film, Ted. Eventually, having thrown himself all around the lounge, Master Benedict grabbed his imaginary assailant, dragged him down the hallway by the scruff of his neck and dropped him in front of the imaginary PE teacher.

The net result was of this was that Master Jacob and I laughed so much he missed his school bus. Now, I did think about lecturing Master Ben about the inappropriate use of violence but then I remembered my own adventures….

In conclusion all I can say is: I am grateful Master Jacob is a sensible and placid young man. Master Benedict, however, is more like me – which means I am expecting his days at upper school to be more “colourful” than Master Jacob’s.

 I will be taking out insurance.

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