2500 x 500

The often dubious, politically incorrect and mainly humorous musings of Ms Jane Turley, (Ex) Housewife Extraordinaire.

The Best One Liner Yet

As some of you are aware Master Benedict has a habit of producing some admirable one liners. This afternoon as we were travelling to tennis he produced his best yet…

Mrs T: It’s Father’s Day on Sunday. Any ideas what we should get Dad?

Master Benedict: We don’t have a father.

Mrs T: What do you mean?

Master Benedict: We have two mothers.

So there you have it. The truth is out. There is not one but two Housewife Extraordinaries in the Turley Household.

Is it any wonder I’m mad?

I have a lot of sympathy with this poor depressed woman with her mound of ironing. However, I admire her too as she’s actually got her iron out. I try to leave the ironing to Mr T or I bury the iron in the utility room and use the excuse of not being able to find it as the reason I am unable to perform my housewifely duties –unless Mr T has issued me my marching orders. In which case I first study the prenupital agreement and check for any get out clauses.

The above picture is a favourable comparison with a relaxing evening in the Turley Household – although I haven’t  actually held our remote control since 1991.  Oh yes, and I’m not blonde and I’m not thin. It’s not a bad likeness of Mr T though – although the remote control is missing from his breast pocket.

Any ideas for a Father’s Day gift for the good Mr T are most welcome. Cheap ones please. I’m on a budget.

Latest Posts
New Website

After 18 years on another CMS, I have moved my blog to a more versatile platform. However, it will take some time while I perform some jiggery-pokery to get it exactly how I want it. So please bear with me as things fall off the page, are posted upside down and so on. It has also beome apparent that I will have to edit hundreds of posts as importing them has screwed up all the post layouts, especially paragraphs. This

Read More »
A Chicken Nugget A Day Keeps Justice Away

I have been forced. Yes, forced to come out of blog hibernation to comment on the latest scandal to hit the UK. God knows I have been tempted multiple times in the last few years to comment on some of the insane things happening in the UK and in the world, but sadly, life has just thrown too many curve balls at me. But today, I can take no more – I cannot keep my mouth shut any longer over

Read More »
My Nominees for the US and UK Elections and Other Waffle

It’s the early hours of the morning, and I have had a large gin… Late-night alcohol is always a good recipe for writing gibberish. And I have not written gibberish for a while on my blog as I have been busy writing gibberish for my MA in Comedy Writing. Which I recently passed with a distinction. Yay! Yes, it transpires that even academics can be fooled into thinking gibberish is genius. Excellent. So anyway, I have written two sitcoms, a

Read More »
Less is More (well that’s my excuse and I’m sticking to it)

I’ve been practising my haikus, which you may recall, I’m not particularly good at. However, I wanted to address the woke issue in a concise, meaningful way as it is such a serious matter for discussion and particularly relevant to me as a comic writer. Which, if you know me,  translates as: 1) I’m too lazy to write a long analytical post. And 2) I’d rather watch a movie and eat tortilla chips. However, I feel obliged to say my

Read More »
Sixteen Years On

So this post is just going to be a stream of possibly (wildly erratic) thoughts. So hang on to your breeches; we could go anywhere with them.   Cripes, I only managed three posts last year. And I call myself a writer? Pathetic! Though, to be fair to me, almost everyone who was blogging with me in 2007/8 no longer blogs or blogs even less than I do now. A few later blogs are still going, so kudos to those

Read More »
Are You Having A Laugh?

An ex-secret service agent with a personality problem and a desire for imperial glory. An aged president who looks like he’s got a giant fork prong stuck up his arse to keep him upright. A floppy-haired bumbling classics graduate with a predisposition for crass decisions. A tinpot dictator who showcases his weapons like a movie trailer. A comedian who has found himself elevated to global status.  If the world wasn’t on the brink of war this surely would be the

Read More »

2 responses

  1. LOL!! (Sorry, I keep forgetting this is a blog and not a text message.)

    Keep 'em coming, Mrs T. Call me old-fashioned but shouldn't men always do the ironing anyway? The little lady of the house really can't be expected to operate an electrical appliance all on her own, no? Wait a minute. That applies to ovens, vacuum cleaners, microwaves .. oh, and TV remote controls as well. Oh dear. No, wait – they only have batteries in, don't they?

  2. The Good Mr T is remarkably skilled in the ironing dept, Mrs B. I do not want to deprive him of something he loves so much:))

    (The trick is to balls it up for about ten years – wrong creases, burns, lime scale stains etc etc, eventually it become easier to iron their own shirts. I've never looked back:)

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *