Who gives a monkey arse about Twitter when there’s Pinterest!

Ohhhhhh what shall I pin to Pinterest today?

*Dances joyfully around room*

Okay, okay, okay, I admit it. I have way too much time on my hands lately. Master Ben has been off school for three consecutive days. Master Jacob was off school for three days the week before – I am going quietly insane.

Okay maybe not that quietly.

I just need some quiet time. Alone. I want to do that artistic author thing – contemplate major philosophical ideas, be reflective and pose artistically at my desk without any interruption from children wallowing in self pity that they’re ill and bored.

I mean: three days off school? I would have been leaping for joy when I was their age if I was off school for that amount of time. Unless I was so ill I couldn’t walk, couldn’t see and had dysentery I was at school every single sodding day. All my boys have had is sinusitis. Huh – I would still have been going to school with sinusitis AND doing fifty press ups in the gym.

Now what shall I pin on Pinterest? I think I need a new display board. Maybe a shopping related one?

Mmm…shopping.

Maybe I don’t really need to pose artistically…

Yes, so a shopping board it is. Hmm…wait a minute. What about a board for “Things I fantasize about when I’m stuck at home when my kids are ill” ? That could be shopping then and lots of other things too! Whoa, I’m a genius!

Now, let’s Google “sexy hunk cleaning my kitchen” and see what the images throw up.

Latest Posts

New Website

14 March 2025 No Comments

After 18 years on another CMS, I have moved my blog to a more versatile platform. However, it will take some time while I perform some jiggery-pokery to get it exactly how I want it. So please bear with me as things fall off the page, are posted upside down and so on. It has also beome apparent that I will have to edit hundreds of posts as importing them has screwed up all the post layouts, especially paragraphs. This

A Chicken Nugget A Day Keeps Justice Away

10 February 2025 No Comments

I have been forced. Yes, forced to come out of blog hibernation to comment on the latest scandal to hit the UK. God knows I have been tempted multiple times in the last few years to comment on some of the insane things happening in the UK and in the world, but sadly, life has just thrown too many curve balls at me. But today, I can take no more – I cannot keep my mouth shut any longer over

My Nominees for the US and UK Elections and Other Waffle

31 October 2023 1 Comment

It’s the early hours of the morning, and I have had a large gin… Late-night alcohol is always a good recipe for writing gibberish. And I have not written gibberish for a while on my blog as I have been busy writing gibberish for my MA in Comedy Writing. Which I recently passed with a distinction. Yay! Yes, it transpires that even academics can be fooled into thinking gibberish is genius. Excellent. So anyway, I have written two sitcoms, a

Less is More (well that’s my excuse and I’m sticking to it)

2 February 2023 2 Comments

I’ve been practising my haikus, which you may recall, I’m not particularly good at. However, I wanted to address the woke issue in a concise, meaningful way as it is such a serious matter for discussion and particularly relevant to me as a comic writer. Which, if you know me, translates as: 1) I’m too lazy to write a long analytical post. And 2) I’d rather watch a movie and eat tortilla chips. However, I feel obliged to say my

Sixteen Years On

8 January 2023 7 Comments

So this post is just going to be a stream of possibly (wildly erratic) thoughts. So hang on to your breeches; we could go anywhere with them. Cripes, I only managed three posts last year. And I call myself a writer? Pathetic! Though, to be fair to me, almost everyone who was blogging with me in 2007/8 no longer blogs or blogs even less than I do now. A few later blogs are still going, so kudos to those

Are You Having A Laugh?

25 March 2022 1 Comment

An ex-secret service agent with a personality problem and a desire for imperial glory. An aged president who looks like he’s got a giant fork prong stuck up his arse to keep him upright. A floppy-haired bumbling classics graduate with a predisposition for crass decisions. A tinpot dictator who showcases his weapons like a movie trailer. A comedian who has found himself elevated to global status. If the world wasn’t on the brink of war this surely would be the