2500 x 500

The often dubious, politically incorrect and mainly humorous musings of Ms Jane Turley, (Ex) Housewife Extraordinaire.

#AtoZChallenge 2025

Aliens and Hot Tubs.

Apparently, actress Shirley MacLaine is eager to share her knowledge of aliens with Hilary Clinton. Shirley has seen a lot of aliens and on one occasion one of her friends actually saw three alien spaceships hovering over Shirley’s outdoor hot tub. Also, according to Shirley, Ronald Reagan confided in her that on the way to a Hollywood Party he and Nancy were stopped by an alien space ship and an extraterrestrial being emerged and told Ronald to change careers and take up politics.

Random Thoughts:

1) I suspect Ronald Reagan was actually on his way back from the Hollywood party.

2) Nancy looked a bit alien at the best of times. After a bottle of champers and seven Martinis Ronald probably got a bit confused.

3) Lots of people see strange lights over their hot tubs. I have even see strange lights over my indoor bath. It has nothing to do with aliens and has a lot to do with a) alcohol b) overdosing on perfume bath salts or c) Christmas decorations.

4) I once saw a strange light. It was when I replaced the bulb in my oven.

5) My sister-in-law is an alien. I would prefer it if she was just alien to me.

6) Aliens have probably been secretly backing the Presidents of the United States. This is very worrying. I would rather they were backing Warner Brothers.

7) I have a friend who also got stopped by an alien craft on his way to a party; he spent 24 hours in police custody.

8) Shirley MacLaine is a Hollywood Superstar. She is also 78 years old. Enough said.

9) Solar lighting is the cause of a lot of calls to the emergency services.

10) Some people say my humour is alien to them. I say: “Why are you green and wearing tinfoil?”

Hollywood Celebs you gotta love ’em. I can’t wait to hear what Kim Kardashian believes in -probably that fluffy squirrels are drilling their way to the centre of the earth. Oh well – I believe that one day I will be a good cook.

Everyone has to dream.

Latest Posts
New Website

After 18 years on another CMS, I have moved my blog to a more versatile platform. However, it will take some time while I perform some jiggery-pokery to get it exactly how I want it. So please bear with me as things fall off the page, are posted upside down and so on. It has also beome apparent that I will have to edit hundreds of posts as importing them has screwed up all the post layouts, especially paragraphs. This

Read More »
A Chicken Nugget A Day Keeps Justice Away

I have been forced. Yes, forced to come out of blog hibernation to comment on the latest scandal to hit the UK. God knows I have been tempted multiple times in the last few years to comment on some of the insane things happening in the UK and in the world, but sadly, life has just thrown too many curve balls at me. But today, I can take no more – I cannot keep my mouth shut any longer over

Read More »
My Nominees for the US and UK Elections and Other Waffle

It’s the early hours of the morning, and I have had a large gin… Late-night alcohol is always a good recipe for writing gibberish. And I have not written gibberish for a while on my blog as I have been busy writing gibberish for my MA in Comedy Writing. Which I recently passed with a distinction. Yay! Yes, it transpires that even academics can be fooled into thinking gibberish is genius. Excellent. So anyway, I have written two sitcoms, a

Read More »
Less is More (well that’s my excuse and I’m sticking to it)

I’ve been practising my haikus, which you may recall, I’m not particularly good at. However, I wanted to address the woke issue in a concise, meaningful way as it is such a serious matter for discussion and particularly relevant to me as a comic writer. Which, if you know me,  translates as: 1) I’m too lazy to write a long analytical post. And 2) I’d rather watch a movie and eat tortilla chips. However, I feel obliged to say my

Read More »
Sixteen Years On

So this post is just going to be a stream of possibly (wildly erratic) thoughts. So hang on to your breeches; we could go anywhere with them.   Cripes, I only managed three posts last year. And I call myself a writer? Pathetic! Though, to be fair to me, almost everyone who was blogging with me in 2007/8 no longer blogs or blogs even less than I do now. A few later blogs are still going, so kudos to those

Read More »
Are You Having A Laugh?

An ex-secret service agent with a personality problem and a desire for imperial glory. An aged president who looks like he’s got a giant fork prong stuck up his arse to keep him upright. A floppy-haired bumbling classics graduate with a predisposition for crass decisions. A tinpot dictator who showcases his weapons like a movie trailer. A comedian who has found himself elevated to global status.  If the world wasn’t on the brink of war this surely would be the

Read More »

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *