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The often dubious, politically incorrect and mainly humorous musings of Ms Jane Turley, (Ex) Housewife Extraordinaire.

Aliens and Hot Tubs.

Apparently, actress Shirley MacLaine is eager to share her knowledge of aliens with Hilary Clinton. Shirley has seen a lot of aliens and on one occasion one of her friends actually saw three alien spaceships hovering over Shirley’s outdoor hot tub. Also, according to Shirley, Ronald Reagan confided in her that on the way to a Hollywood Party he and Nancy were stopped by an alien space ship and an extraterrestrial being emerged and told Ronald to change careers and take up politics.

Random Thoughts:

1) I suspect Ronald Reagan was actually on his way back from the Hollywood party.

2) Nancy looked a bit alien at the best of times. After a bottle of champers and seven Martinis Ronald probably got a bit confused.

3) Lots of people see strange lights over their hot tubs. I have even see strange lights over my indoor bath. It has nothing to do with aliens and has a lot to do with a) alcohol b) overdosing on perfume bath salts or c) Christmas decorations.

4) I once saw a strange light. It was when I replaced the bulb in my oven.

5) My sister-in-law is an alien. I would prefer it if she was just alien to me.

6) Aliens have probably been secretly backing the Presidents of the United States. This is very worrying. I would rather they were backing Warner Brothers.

7) I have a friend who also got stopped by an alien craft on his way to a party; he spent 24 hours in police custody.

8) Shirley MacLaine is a Hollywood Superstar. She is also 78 years old. Enough said.

9) Solar lighting is the cause of a lot of calls to the emergency services.

10) Some people say my humour is alien to them. I say: “Why are you green and wearing tinfoil?”

Hollywood Celebs you gotta love ’em. I can’t wait to hear what Kim Kardashian believes in -probably that fluffy squirrels are drilling their way to the centre of the earth. Oh well – I believe that one day I will be a good cook.

Everyone has to dream.

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