At least my pants stay up

I know I’ve been slack with my blogging lately. However, I’m not so slack as William Shatner’s pants which apparently fell down at LAX airport.

Now that’s the kind of news I like. You just gotta love that guy. Eighty one years old and still whipping up a storm.

By the way, I’m over 20,000 words into my new novel. I’m not sure if it’s any good. In fact it’s probably in very bad taste as so far I’ve managed to squeeze in everything a publisher would probably hate: lots of gags about The War (sorry), A German matron (sorry), An elderly woman with Alzheimer’s who believes she a famous screen actor, a Scottish romantic novelist, a care home, and a mother of three who’s just quit her job.

Now I just have to get in the telephone sex, the comical deaths, The Sound of Music and a whole host of other bizarre happenings and this will be the novel that hopefully will make people both and laugh and cry. It’ll probably make any publisher laugh and cry as well – but probably not for the right reasons.

I’ll be self-publishing obviously.

Bizarrely enough, in my novel, my heroine’s pants can be found around her ankles. And this was before I’d read about Bill Shatner and has nothing to do with Fifty Shades of Grey.

More about Fifty Shades soon I think. It needs a serious reviewer like my good self to do it justice.

Latest Posts

A to Z: B is for Badass Brits.

2 April 2025 1 Comment

Now, when I think of Badass Brits, I think of the likes of Jason Statham and Vinny Jones. Men with humble, working-class backgrounds who’ve made good and have a reputation as hard men in films. The kind of men who, 100 years ago, might have worked 12-hour shifts down the mines and still come home and dug the garden over. Not like our present PM, Keir Starmer, who keeps trying to pass himself off as the son

A to Z: Age is for Ageism

28 March 2025 2 Comments

So, I reckon we should start off the A to Z with a rant on ageism and generally being old (read f***** over for the less sensitive amongst you.) I know it’s hard to believe, but I started writing this blog in 2007 when I was 42. This makes me a dinosaur amongst the blogging community (i.e., I’m verging on the extinct), and last month, I turned 60. Now, I know the kinder amongst you will be saying, “How

New Website

14 March 2025 No Comments

After 18 years on another CMS, I have moved my blog to a more versatile platform. However, it will take some time while I perform some jiggery-pokery to get it exactly how I want it. So please bear with me as things fall off the page, are posted upside down and so on. It has also beome apparent that I will have to edit hundreds of posts as importing them has screwed up all the post layouts, especially paragraphs. This

A Chicken Nugget A Day Keeps Justice Away

10 February 2025 No Comments

I have been forced. Yes, forced to come out of blog hibernation to comment on the latest scandal to hit the UK. God knows I have been tempted multiple times in the last few years to comment on some of the insane things happening in the UK and in the world, but sadly, life has just thrown too many curve balls at me. But today, I can take no more – I cannot keep my mouth shut any longer over

My Nominees for the US and UK Elections and Other Waffle

31 October 2023 1 Comment

It’s the early hours of the morning, and I have had a large gin… Late-night alcohol is always a good recipe for writing gibberish. And I have not written gibberish for a while on my blog as I have been busy writing gibberish for my MA in Comedy Writing. Which I recently passed with a distinction. Yay! Yes, it transpires that even academics can be fooled into thinking gibberish is genius. Excellent. So anyway, I have written two sitcoms, a

Less is More (well that’s my excuse and I’m sticking to it)

2 February 2023 2 Comments

I’ve been practising my haikus, which you may recall, I’m not particularly good at. However, I wanted to address the woke issue in a concise, meaningful way as it is such a serious matter for discussion and particularly relevant to me as a comic writer. Which, if you know me, translates as: 1) I’m too lazy to write a long analytical post. And 2) I’d rather watch a movie and eat tortilla chips. However, I feel obliged to say my

hillgrandmom says:

29 June 2012 at 12:32 PM

Saw a review of Fifty Shades of Grey and it made me think of you and was dying to know what your valued opinion would be Mrs T.

Reply
Jane Turley says:

29 June 2012 at 12:34 PM

In that case, Sue. I will definitely make sure I give Fifty Shades my serious consideration!:)

Reply