Back to Blogging

It’s a month since I last posted. I think it is my longest absence ever from the blogosphere. So it’s time to get back on the writing trail again!

As you know, it was a late Easter so it’s been the school hols which means I’ve been busy doing the family thing. Firstly, this meant picking up Young Sam from college. So, a few weeks ago, I drove over to his digs (colloquial UK expression for a student shit-tip) where I’d hoped to be greeted with loving kisses and a big welcoming smile – instead his door opened and I was greeted by the poignant odour of Eau de Student (You know the odour – unwashed jeans and stale fish and chips) and an even more gruesome Eau de Unclean Toilet. Sam is very lucky to have his own washing facilities – which the student brochure described as an “ensuite bathroom.” However, I would more realistically describe it as;

A compact chamber of minuscule proportions containing (debatable) sanitary equipment and suitably sized for dwarfs, pixies and anyone keen on potholing. Please note a lack of ventilation may be an issue for those with asthma, allergies and who generally require the use of unfetid air.

Oh – I should also point out that the students are told not to use any cleaning fluids except mild washing-up detergent as the drains run out to a environmentally friendly drainage system.

Well you know I am all for being “Green” but when Young Sam broke this shocking news to me, I looked at him… I looked at his loo…and I looked at his shower…

And I picked up the bleach and ignored the feeble, pathetic cries of the little reeds swaying gently outside in the breeze.

Yep, sometimes a mother’s just gotta do what a mother’s gotta do. Reeds or no reeds. Anyway, I was sure glad I’d gone prepared wearing a nose peg and a paper bag over my head.

Hmm… you know, I used to think the Klu Klux Klan were a daft group of racist bigots – now I know they just all had teenage kids at college.

By the by – did you know that David Soul of Starksy and Hutch fame used to wear a paper bag over his head when he sang?  (Obviously, this was before he became famous for S & H ) Apparently, it was because he was so darn good looking the women just wanted to ogle him and not listen to his voice.

Hmm… I’m thinking something went seriously wrong. Have you seen Hutch lately? Now I don’t want to be a meanie – but if the checkout girls at Walmart gave him a couple of extra carriers they’d probably be doing him a favour.

Well back to Young Sam. Now aside from the foul stench, the first thing I was greeted with was…. wait for it…. no, not

Mum, how great to see you!

and not even

Mum, you’re just in time to clean the toilet!

but

Mum, have you seen this You Tube Clip?

Okay, so I took a deep breath as Young Sam loaded You Tube. Would it be Debbie Does Dallas (I figure nothing about male students has changed over the last 25 years) or some other saucy little number he thinks is gonna shock his old mum?

Nope, it was this;

Student Humour. Don’t you just love it.

That’s the trouble with boys. They do have a different sense of humour from us girls. Although (am I allowed to admit this?) I also found that rather funny…

You Tube – it’s a phenomenon isn’t it? So much opportunity for humour. I’m thinking of broadcasting my own cookery class on it. Anyway, I got back home with Sam and surprise, surprise, Master Jacob and Master Ben welcomed me not with

Mum, you’re back! We love you!

or even

Mum, where’s tea?

but with

Mum, have you seen this You Tube clip?

Yes, I admit I did have minor palpitations at the thought of Debbie Does Dallas again but fortunately it turned out to be Justin Bieber getting shot. Which, in my opinion, is probably a good idea if you like music. Or even if you don’t. Anyway, here’s the clip which is (loosely) from an episode of CSI where Justin Bieber made a guest appearance. Oh, and if you don’t know who Justin Bieber is (That’s you Mrs A) he’s a teenage boy who can’t sing, and doesn’t look anything like Michael Jackson. Although he does have a bad haircut.

Poor fella.He’s kinda cute. I’m sure his singing is not really that bad.

 Hmm…I think that hoodie is an attempt to disguise his hairdressing issues. Maybe his album should be retitled Never say Never to a Comb.

Perhaps he’s got a bald patch and is doing a front comb over?

Well, I suppose I’ll have to eat my words if Justin turns out to be more successful than MJ. Still, lets just hope the poor kid remains sane and doesn’t try to grow an afro and dye his skin black. Now that would be ironic.

Well there you go – a first installment of what I’ve been up to. More to come soon – but it’s now nearly 5am and a girl’s gotta get some sleep. Wake me up at 7am please.