Where have I been?

Yep, I guess you’ve been wondering where I’ve been? Yip, so have I. But I tell you what that spaceship was really wacko. I reckon if I replicate some of the interior I could easily make a killing at the next Ideal Homes Exhibition. Cos let’s face it some people have more money than sense don’t they? I mean who’d want a toaster shaped liked a bidet?

Yeah, alright I was telling untruths again. It’s a bad habit. I wasn’t captured by aliens. Although, to be honest being fed and watered and not having to do the the housework really appeals. I could put up with prodding and an intelligence test in exchange for a nice room and decent spread once a day.

On second thoughts…I suppose it might be false representation if I pretended I was a typical example of  life on planet earth. I mean, I have two legs and two arms but brain-wise there’s not a lot going on upstairs at times. Know what I mean? Still, I guess if aliens took a look at me and thought that they could invade us easily (not knowing we’ve got some real brainboxes like Stephen Hawking) we should be able to surprise them with our nukes.

Sounds like a script for a Hollywood blockbuster. Maybe I could get the lead role? I can see it now; Earth is about to be attacked so we must convince the aliens that we are a harmless race of morons so President Obama  recruits The Housewife Extrordinaire……..

Yeah, so I’ve been busy. Doing stuff far too tedious to tell you all. I’m still on my diet but failing a bit on the exercise – my excuse is the weather. I look out the window and see the wind and the rain and think to myself Do I want to go walking in this weather?

 Answer: No.

Hmm… I  know I could exercise in the home but it’s not so easy at home is it? Not when there’s always all the other stuff to do around the house which seems to take priority. Anyway, I’m still losing weight – I’m up to 9lbs which is not as good as I’d hoped but bearing in mind the lack of exercise I can’t complain. I’ve still a few days left so if I can find the time I will up the tempo. (No chance.)

Yep, so things have been kind of busy lately. I know this because when I get busy I start to make even more mistakes than usual. (So that’s a lot then obviously.) Take this for example ;

Friday afternoon I pick the boys up for school so we can rush off to tennis. They’re approaching the car just as I’m getting back from a quick dash to the nearby store. I open the car, get in and wait…..

Jacob (opening the car door): Umm….Mum?

Mrs T: Yes?

Jacob: Why are you sitting in the passenger seat?

Mrs T looks around her in bewilderment.

Mrs T: Um… ( reality dawning  )…um… I’m driving aren’t I?

Jacob: Yes. Unless you want me to have a go?

Mrs T gets out of passenger seat and goes round to the driver’s seat.

Mrs T:  I’ll pass on that offer Master Jacob.

Mrs T sighs and puts car in gear.

Mrs T:  Right,  let’s go! The tennis centre here we come!

Benedict (whispering to Master Jacob):  Do you think we’ll get there alive?

Okay, well I think that little story illustrates my current mental state. I have another very busy week and then things should be calming down so expect to hear from me then. Hurrah! ( Or not as the case may be!)