Men and Women: Together at Odds.

This post was inspired by Georgie B (with thanks) who got me thinking about the differences between men and women:

1. Men like women’s breasts. Women also like breasts. Particularly with peas, baked potato and a light mayo: we always appreciate a low calorie meal.

2. Men like women’s backsides. The only backsides women like are the ones on their way out of the door at 7am. Unless the backside belongs to Arnold Schwarzenegger when we concede that firm buttocks can be attractive- especially when coated in $2000 Armani suit.

3.Men like women’s legs. (Unless they belong to Helga the Russian shot putter) Women think men’s legs are funny. Especially when men keep their socks on during sex or when they belong to Tom Cruise.

4. Men like women’s underwear. Sometimes they even wear it. Women think both men’s and women’s underwear is laughable. They would never wear men’s underwear although they might use it to polish the doorknockers, clean the toilet, or fashion a turban should they find themselves outnumbered at a PTA meeting.

5. Men like women in stilettos. Women like men with stilettos – especially if they look Italian and don’t live in The Vatican.

6. Men like women with painted nails. Women like men with painted nails – especially when they’ve painted the dining room, the lounge, the hallway, the kitchen, the bathroom, the bedrooms and the small cupboard under the stairs.

7. Men like women in skirts and gymslips. Women like men in skirts and gymslips – in a mental institution.

8. Men like women wearing nothing but a fur coat. Women like men fully dressed – women know that what lies beneath a man’s clothes makes them want to laugh out loud. Especially on chilly days.

9. Men can’t take their eyes of a woman who is bending over. Women can take their eyes of a man who is bending over – because generally speaking it’s always a good idea to look at the oncoming traffic when you’re crossing the road.

10. Men like women with glossy hair. Women like men with glossy hair. If a women loses her hair a man divorces her. If a man loses his hair the woman sticks a lampshade on his head and stands him in the corner of the room.

11. Men love women. Women love men. And somehow, despite all the odds, together we make music.