Jagger, Richards and the Simply Stylish

I was a bit mean yesterday about Mick Hucknall of Simply Red. That’s me… a little impetuous at times! Oh dear – but the good thing is no one ever takes me seriously so I never get into any trouble – although it’s true I’m still waiting to hear from Martin Amis. Mind you, at least with this blogging world there’s always the opportunity to edit and undo what you’ve done. Not so when you’re in print! I wonder if Keith Richards of The Rolling Stones will ever regret writing about Mick Jagger’s affair with Marianne Faithful in his autobiography Life.

Now look away all you folks who don’t want to be exposed to the lurid ramblings of  Keith Richards as here comes a particularly juicy quote from Keith about Marianne Faithful and Jagger…

(She) “had no fun with his tiny todger. I know he’s got an enormous pair of balls – but it doesn’t quite fill the gap.”

Heaven’s above! That’s a bit too personal isn’t it? And it’s about his long term music partner and friend! It seems no one has told Richards about the “need to know” clause. Just as well he’s just a rock star and not a doctor’s receptionist….

Yeah Love, so you want a boob job – and a vasectomy for your husband. You know he can’t have it done till his crabs clear up? Well I think so, I’ll just check…. HEY DOC, CAN THIS BIRD’S HUBBY HAVE THE SNIP WHILST HE’S GOT THE CRABS? OH YEAH AND THE HAEMORRHOID’S?? OH  CAN SHE HAVE HER BOOBS DONE ON THE NHS???

Blimey, as if that idea isn’t bad enough and just imagine what Keith would be like talking about his enemies;

Yeah, I saw the dude in the Gents at Stringfellows. His todger was so small I could barely see it. Like a pin prick. In fact, at first I thought it was a speck of dirt on his suit and went to brush it away for him. ‘Course then the geezer said  “Yo Keith Baby, I never knew you cared. How about we make some sweet music together?”  Anyway, when I realised I wasn’t hallucinating I kneed him in the groin and left.

Anyway, I thought I’d make up for being a tad ungracious to the talented Mick Hucknall by playing one of my favourite Simply Red tunes which I mentioned yesterday Fairground..

Oh, I’m not going to apologise for making a few jokes about Keith Richards – I think he’s more than capable of looking after himself!