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The often dubious, politically incorrect and mainly humorous musings of Ms Jane Turley, (Ex) Housewife Extraordinaire.

#AtoZChallenge 2025

Christmas Socks

Christmas comes but once a year
Hurrah for that ’cos it’s very dear
So raise your glasses, hoist your frocks
Be prepared for those Christmas socks

Open your prezzies, empty your stocking
Whose gift is best for ritual mocking?
Is it the pants or is it the clock?
No, it’s those awful Christmas socks.

Boil your sprouts and eat those tarts
Get outta the way before hubby farts
Baste your turkeys, drink your hocks
Parade those hideous Christmas socks

Pull the crackers, tell some jokes
Those silly rhymes will make you choke
Fry the leftovers in a wok
A new ingredient is… a Christmas sock

Granny cries, “What’s this in my bubble and squeak?”
Mummy lies, “Just a new a new kind of Christmas leek!”
Granny goes into anaphylactic shock
At the pungent smell of the Christmas Sock.

Granny coughs and drops down dead
And now you can retire to bed
For never again will you have to put
A Christmas sock upon your foot.

Copyright Jane Turley 2008

(My excuse is that I was under the influence of drink – that hot chocolate does crazy things to me.)

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5 responses

  3. Why thanks Georgie!

    T’was a bit daft but I just thought “What the heck, it’s Christmas!”

    Merry Christmas to you! (Good luck in the present stakes too!)

    Well of course Speedy! I bet you have hundreds of Christmas socks! (All now odd ones of course!) But who cares? It’s all part of the fun.. I’ve had some duffer Christmas prezzies over the years and I can tell you if I’d had socks instead I would have been well please! Yep, they were that baaadddd!

    Reply

  4. I’m impressed! Very festive, but how is it always the bloke that gets done for letting one go? Hold on, i take that back I don’t want another sexist debate breaking out. Merry Christmas Mrs T, your blog has been a revelation this year, really enjoyed it. And good luck in your new venture over at The View From Here.

    Reply

  5. hehehehe. Merry christams Mrs T.

    Isn’t there a rule in the T household about listing the ingredients that went into every item on the menu?
    At least reveal the secret of what into the hot chocolate that was so inspiring – all it makes me do is sleep!

    Reply

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