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The often dubious, politically incorrect and mainly humorous musings of Ms Jane Turley, (Ex) Housewife Extraordinaire.

Moments in History

Sometimes a man steps forwards from the ranks and brings with him hope, faith and a belief in mankind. His path has been laid since birth. His life has been a long, challenging journey to bring him to this one moment in time; the moment where he will change the future and restore balance to the world. He may have been born in poverty, raised by a substitute mother and faced adversity because of his ancestry but one day he will have such presence, such power, that he will become an unstoppable force for change.

You know exactly who I mean. Don’t you?

Yep, that’s right; Luke Skywalker.

Cripes can you believe it? It’s over 30 years since Star Wars hit the screens! I remember queuing up to watch it back in 1977 and I’ve been addicted to it ever since. Yep, I’m one of those losers who can quote Star Wars at the drop of a hat, posess my own Darth Vader mask (Mmm… kinky) and have watched every episode so many times I have a recurrent nightmare where I turn into Jabba the Hutt.

You know they say dreams can be very close to reality.

Still if I make it to the 40th Star Wars anniversary in 2017 I’ll be looking more like Yoda by then. I’ll be able to trade in my slug pellets for some giant earrings and start wearing a tea towel for a coat. Hoorah! That should keep down the electricity bills till I start getting the government’s supplementary heating payment when I turn 80.

Anyway 2017 is obviously a year I will be looking forward to – but hey not so much as I’m looking forward to next year! Cos you know what… 2009 is a very special year. Do you know why? Come on…think hard!

Yes, you’re right… it WILL be 100 years since the birth of Cubby Broccoli. Wow…any excuse to celebrate Bond and I’m up for it!

However, that’s not the answer I was looking for.

Will it be 500 years since Henry VIII ascended the English throne?

Why yes indeed!

(Hey, nobody tell Mark Stoneman he may party too much. Believe me I know all about those History Professors; they can really get down and groove.)

Okay, maybe I won’t be celebrating Henry’s ascent quite so much. But you know if Henry had been born as a Henrietta and had 6 husbands and chopped 2 of their heads off I would be celebrating Big Time. So I guess I’ll just wear my little party hat that reads “Henry VIII had syphilis” on it and whistle Greensleeves instead.

Now there IS quite an important anniversary next year; it will 75 years since Percy Shaw the inventor of “Cat’s Eyes” (Oh come on…you know…the little reflective light thingies in the middle of the road) installed the first fifty on a stretch of road in Bradford, England.

I can think of a lot to say about Percy Shaw but I’ll keep it simple;

Bastard.

Mrs T likes slalom style driving so she can pretend she is in a Bond movie. Those dratted Cat’s Eyes ruin all my fun. Humph.

Okay, what else could be a big anniversary next year?

Will it be 40 years since Charles de Gaulle resigned? (Ah… who cares? It’s only French History. Somebody turn the lights off.)

Will it be 60 years since the formation of NATO? Yep! You know I thought NATO meant meant North Atlantic Treaty Organization but when I looked back at my history notes from my college days I’ve written the meaning as Not Another Tutu-wearing Organization. Guess I’d change my name to Jaap de Hoop Scheffer too if I wanted to disguise my true identity. Anyway, I hear big skirts are on the agenda for the next summit.

So you give up then?

Okay, it exhilarating, mind blowing stuff.

Next year it will be 60 years of NODDY. Yeah, just great. Whoppee Do!!

Yep, I love Enid Blyton in the same way I love Katie Holmes; they both have a penchant for small elf like creatures with large oversized boots.

Anyhow, I had the (mis)fortune of seeing an interview with Enid’s granddaughter on the BBC to promote a new Noddy book which is to be released next year. It sounded absolutely enthralling and entertaining!

I will be dashing out to get it as fast as my wooden leg will let me.

Have I enthused about Noddy enough? Yep. So that’s it. Bye for now.

Oh yeah, and about that Barack Obama guy. I reckon he could be big.

Pretty big indeed.

Copyright Jane Turley 2009

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11 responses

  1. Jimi Hendrix played at Yale University 50 years ago today..

    Rumor is Princess Leia and Jimi are related.
    I think this is pure speculation. Jimi loved ‘prune danish’. Leia’s hair was coiffed into ‘danish’ like buns over her ears.

    People will stretch almost any point for notoriety…nest ce pas?

  2. Oh Mrs T. Such a good article with the small exception of what happend 12,314 days ago. Or 33 years, 8 months and 15 days. If you want to get really fussy, 1759 weeks which is 295,536 hours or 17,732,160 minutes or even 1,063,929,600 seconds ago. The most important day in history. For me anyway. Dave Skywalker has nothing on that date!

  3. Well I was just about to hop on back to bed when up popped your comment Master Sy which required PROMPT attention.

    BIG HEAD!!!

    I know what your talking about even if nobody else does!

    Ps ..I was surfing earlier (just for a change) and I have found the PERFECT christmas gift for you! Yep, you are well privledged. Mrs T is gonna get you something special Big Boy.

  4. Tamera,

    Yep, Luke was cool but don’t tell anyone… I kinda like the bad guys best!

    Eddie,

    That was very funny.

    I like Walnut Whips; I look stupid.

    Mr I,

    Um which bit am I right about?! Or am I right about everything?

    At least I can be sure you are not French!

    Jackie,

    Yep, I’m hoping 2009 will be a good one. Let’s hope Obama’s arrival brings about real change. And on a personal note unless there’s a world chocolate crisis hopefully things should get better next year.

  5. Big head? Finally someone recognises my impressive…oooohh…you mean my HEAD head. Bugger it.

    A prezzie? For Master Sy? Well that is dandy as a dandilicious thing which has an element of dandy’ness to it! What ya getting me…come on…I cant wait that long! Easter is MONTHS away!

  6. Well Master Sy, I have heard in the blogosphere you have an uncommonly large head. Personally, I believe it is due to all those awards you have received causing your head to grow at at a tremendous rate. Soon, no doubt it will EXPLODE.

    And then what? I fear the result could be rather messy… and perhaps require the use of some binding tape.

  7. What is this sordid conversation going on my blog?! Have you been up to your tricks again Master Sy??

    Yep, I have found a suitable prezzie for you…and it’s not a willy warmer! Or a trilby!

  8. Ooh Mrs. T. in your absolutely inimitable style! Luke Skywalker, the big small man, Yoda and the tall, thin man Obama–all great :)(but I bet on the latter 2 for real change)

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