2500 x 500

The often dubious, politically incorrect and mainly humorous musings of Ms Jane Turley, (Ex) Housewife Extraordinaire.

C is for Cream Crackered.

I was contemplating a few words over the course of the day for tonight’s post including castration, conception and carol singers but it’s already 10.30pm, I’ve done three hours of housework, two hours of commuting and a nine-hour working day so my brain is fried. I finally got home at 9.30pm, cooked tea for my youngest son and will be leaving the house at 11pm to pick up another from a nearby town so I think I’m just going to go for “cream crackered” instead.

If you’ve not heard of the expression”Cream crackered” it is a slang phrase here in the UK which means “knackered”- or to put it politely – very, very tired. Cockney rhyming slang is particularly prevalent in the East End of London although some expressions like Cream crackered have filtered into wider usage. Essentially, Cockney rhyming slang is a group of phrases used by Cockneys as expressions instead of using the correct word. 
Cockney rhyming slang is pretty simple to undertsand. Here are some simple famous examples:
Rosie lee means tea
Apples and pears means stairs

Trouble and strife means wife

Adam and Eve means believe

So you’ll understand that now when I write I am cream crackered you know what I mean! 
Anyway, time to go and finish my parental duties for the day. And when I get home I’m going straight to bed!

Latest Posts
A to Z: B is for Badass Brits.

Now, when I think of Badass Brits, I think of the likes of Jason Statham and Vinny Jones. Men with humble, working-class backgrounds who’ve made good and have a reputation as hard men in films. The kind of men who, 100 years ago, might have worked 12-hour shifts down the mines and still come home and dug the garden over.       Not like our present PM, Keir Starmer, who keeps trying to pass himself off as the son

Read More »
A to Z: Age is for Ageism

So, I reckon we should start off the A to Z with a rant on ageism and generally being old (read f***** over for the less sensitive amongst you.)   I know it’s hard to believe, but I started writing this blog in 2007 when I was 42. This makes me a dinosaur amongst the blogging community (i.e., I’m verging on the extinct), and last month, I turned 60.   Now, I know the kinder amongst you will be saying, “How

Read More »
New Website

After 18 years on another CMS, I have moved my blog to a more versatile platform. However, it will take some time while I perform some jiggery-pokery to get it exactly how I want it. So please bear with me as things fall off the page, are posted upside down and so on. It has also beome apparent that I will have to edit hundreds of posts as importing them has screwed up all the post layouts, especially paragraphs. This

Read More »
A Chicken Nugget A Day Keeps Justice Away

I have been forced. Yes, forced to come out of blog hibernation to comment on the latest scandal to hit the UK. God knows I have been tempted multiple times in the last few years to comment on some of the insane things happening in the UK and in the world, but sadly, life has just thrown too many curve balls at me. But today, I can take no more – I cannot keep my mouth shut any longer over

Read More »
My Nominees for the US and UK Elections and Other Waffle

It’s the early hours of the morning, and I have had a large gin… Late-night alcohol is always a good recipe for writing gibberish. And I have not written gibberish for a while on my blog as I have been busy writing gibberish for my MA in Comedy Writing. Which I recently passed with a distinction. Yay! Yes, it transpires that even academics can be fooled into thinking gibberish is genius. Excellent. So anyway, I have written two sitcoms, a

Read More »
Less is More (well that’s my excuse and I’m sticking to it)

I’ve been practising my haikus, which you may recall, I’m not particularly good at. However, I wanted to address the woke issue in a concise, meaningful way as it is such a serious matter for discussion and particularly relevant to me as a comic writer. Which, if you know me,  translates as: 1) I’m too lazy to write a long analytical post. And 2) I’d rather watch a movie and eat tortilla chips. However, I feel obliged to say my

Read More »

2 responses

  1. I have never heard the expression. But it is one I will not soon forget! And I have been cream crackered a few times in my life. I am right now!!

  2. I'm cream crackered a lot these days Paula – but on the plus side I don't have to put up with snoring anymore so I get much better quality sleep! LOL.

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *