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The often dubious, politically incorrect and mainly humorous musings of Ms Jane Turley, (Ex) Housewife Extraordinaire.

#AtoZChallenge 2025

Exploding Eggs

I have been trying to master the art of poaching eggs these last couple of months and I am failing miserably. This morning I decided to increase my chances of producing something edible for Mr T’s breakfast and decided to poach 3 eggs in the saucepan in some silicon holders (my latest purchase having failed just using the pan and various spoons) and, at the same time, poach two eggs in the microwave. This was the result:

Disaster! Those egg holders cost me £4.99. What a rip off – you need a degree in  boating to make them stay afloat.  I have now used them about four times and I cannot produce anything that doesn’t look like insipid breast milk.

This was the best shot; you should have seen the ceiling of the microwave.  Notice how the force of the explosion has overturned the egg holder. Hmm …I wonder if that’s where Barnes Wallis got his idea for the Bouncing Bomb.

Tomorrow morning I am going to try coddling my eggs in a traditional egg coddler. I have two of them which belonged to my mother. I don’t think she ever used them as they sat in her display cabinet untouched for years. I’ve looked them at several times thinking about whether to risk it but I’ve been worried that I’ll crack them or blow them up or the metal lids will fly off and embed themselves in my nostrils. However, I’ve decided that tomorrow is D Day; tomorrow I will throw caution to the wind and risk coddling my eggs. I think Mum would be proud of me – taking up challenges, facing fear, flying in the face of failure.

 I mean -who needs to climb Everest or walk on the moon? I just want to cook a F****** egg properly.

I’ll let you know how I get on.

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2 responses

  1. Poached eggs without explosions! It's the one thing I can do in the kitchen.

    Get a mug pour in boiling water. Break egg into it, chuck in microwave – sorted.

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