Right I’m busy today and I’m about to embark on another writing challenge with Gary Davison but before getting down to the serious business of writing I first had to email some photographs of Master Ben and his team mates winning a tennis tournament to another parent. During this (so far failed process) I discovered a few things which need pondering on;
1 Why is that I have 7 leads for cameras and gadgets on my desk and NONE of them fit my mobile phone?
2. Why is that it is that is nearly 12 o’clock and NO ONE has told me that I am wearing my cardigan inside out?
3. Why are a pair of Master Ben’s boxer shorts suspended on the 5th shelf of the bookcase?
4.Why is it that sunflower seeds taste appetising in the morning but like crispy gerbil droppings in the afternoon?
5.Why is it when men tidy things away you can never, ever, find them again without calling out a search and rescue party, a team of sniffer dogs and the Fire brigade?
If you have the answers to these questions do let me know.
For Easter philosophical questions click here
9 responses
Mrs B, for one afternoon only, will be guest agony aunt for Mrs T. Now let me see …
1. Er, … don’t know.
2. Isn’t that the way they’re worn these days?
3. Because they can be.
4. Your taste buds don’t wake up until the afternoon (I made that up).
5. Just, … grrrrr!
1 – That’s a childs mobile phone. Press a button and it plays london bridge is falling down.
2 – You are on your own. The cats cant talk…although they are laughing behind your back at you!
3 – Are they clean? Maybe they were crawling around looking for a washing machine? Or a good book…I mean depending on what he last watched on tv, they might be in search of a womb. Too much? Sorry…
4 – Gerbil droppings get crispier as the day goes on. There is no such thing as a sunflower. You are eating poop.
5 – Stop asking us to tidy up, and you will find things because you put them away!
Hi Jane
Sorry I never noticed the cardi this morning but there you go, you could start a new fashion – after all most of the t-shirts these days have tatty seams and they look like we’re wearing them inside out anyway. It’s great to be different!
Sorry if I was a bit preoccupied this afternoon – I had some bad news – the “system” just let me down again! It’s very difficult to know whether this country wants people to work hard or not since they’re just seem intent on helping us to fail, despite our efforts.
Further to point 5 above, I find that if you send out a search and rescue party/team of sniffer dogs/the fire brigade to locate your husband to ask him where he put said article, he won’t do it again. Failing all the above, text messages, ‘phone calls, emails etc are usually enough of a nuisance …
Useful answers, brought to you by the Academy of Domestic Bliss. Ahem.
1. Just in case?
2. Because you are beautiful just the way you are?
3. He’s been sleepwalking again?
4. Because you confused the droppings for sunflower seeds when you were picking the seeds you dropped on the floor from the morning up from the floor to eat them, because it was easier than sweeping them up?
5. Ehhhh. good one. Oh hell! C’est la vie…out with the old, in with the new…lost is lost!
Mrs B,
Ah..the Academy of Domestic Bliss! Where is that located? Bognor?? Alas, I don’t know much about The Academy of Domestic Bliss but I do know about The Academy of Domestic Cleaning……
Sy,
1. Correct.
2. But…but …I have my invisible friend with me…surely YOU knew that…..
3. Too much – yes indeed!
4. It’s that invisible friend again encouraging my bad habits….
5 I refuse! Tidying is for obsessives!
Miss L,
Keep your chin up Miss L, it will all work out in the end. And if by chance it doesn’t I’ll help you firebomb the local Social office. We’ll roll up my cardi (which clearly looks like it’s from Oxfam as no one noticed ALL DAY- I forget to reverse it, even after I’d noticed it myself) and set it alight…..
Tami,
I like point no 4 Tamera – cos you know it sounds remarkably familiar and reminds me of a story my mum used to tell of how she once mistook something on the floor for chocolate….. need I say more!