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The often dubious, politically incorrect and mainly humorous musings of Ms Jane Turley, (Ex) Housewife Extraordinaire.

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I made the mistake a while ago of syncing the boys ipads with my computer using the icloud.

So, for anyone not familiar with Apple products, this means instead of plugging in the ipads to my computer to transfer songs, films and pictures it does it automatically. I’ve no idea how but it’s genius. It also means I get to keep an eye on what the boys are doing in a Big Brother type of way.

Or maybe that’s a Big Mother type of way.

*Looks at thighs*

Yeah, okay. It’s a Big Mother type of way.

Now initially, I turned on the icloud because I was fed up of updating all our gadgets with our shared music which is stored on itunes. The Big Mother aspect only dawned on me when I started to get notifications of new photographs arriving on my computer.

These photographs were kinda shocking. (It’s not what you’re thinking.)

You know, I thought my Master Jacob was a handsome fella until he sent me this:

 I warned Master Jacob plenty of times about not eating his vegs and now look what’s happened.


But not to out-done by his brother, Master Benedict sent me these:

Master Ben is thinking of giving up tennis and taking up Rugby Union.

 Master Ben is now available for hire in any forthcoming Disney releases
 Master Ben was hoping this picture would inspire feelings of maternal affection. It didn’t work.

 Now this is actually what Master Ben looks like:




Now don’t be fooled, readers. He may look innocent but he isn’t. That is the expression he normally wears when he’s about to deliver one of his infamous one-liners. At the moment, they tend to start with the word “Mother….”

“Mother, do you know this a 30 mph zone?”

“Mother, there is a car parked behind us.”

“Mother, where are my school trousers, shirt, socks….”

“Mother, this toast is burnt.”

“Mother, have you seen The Omen?”

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