2500 x 500

The often dubious, politically incorrect and mainly humorous musings of Ms Jane Turley, (Ex) Housewife Extraordinaire.

#AtoZChallenge 2025

If you’re not the one

Well there I was talking about Daniel Bedingfield on Monday and then his song, If you’re not the one popped up on the radio this morning. I’ve got his CD with this song on it anyway but I’ve not heard it for for a while on the radio. At the moment the radio is suffering from an overdose of Beyonce’s If I were a boy which, very possibly, may drive me to complete insanity if I hear it just one more time. In fact, even the young masters nearly threw themselves out the car windows onto the duel carriageway the other day when we’d heard it for about the fourth time in one day. The local DJ is obviously obsessed with the song but I reckon he should watch out in case some nutty fruitcake housewife rings up the station uttering the words “Play Misty for me.”
Know what I mean?

Anyway, here’s Daniel Bedingfield with his beautiful song If you’re not the one.

Well I guess we might as well listen by Daniel’s sis Natasha. Here’s Unwritten



What a talented duo. They remind me how spectacular my sister and my two brothers and I were at singing. In fact, I think if we’d held our act together I think we could have wiped the floor with The Osmonds. Our vocal harmonies had to be heard to be believed. Here’s the lyrics to our favourite tune that we used to wow our parents with…

Run rabbit run, run, run, run
Here comes the farmer with his gun, gun, gun
Time flies by without a rabbit pie
Run rabbit run, run run, run

Boy, we were dynamite!

Latest Posts
A to Z: B is for Badass Brits.

Now, when I think of Badass Brits, I think of the likes of Jason Statham and Vinny Jones. Men with humble, working-class backgrounds who’ve made good and have a reputation as hard men in films. The kind of men who, 100 years ago, might have worked 12-hour shifts down the mines and still come home and dug the garden over.       Not like our present PM, Keir Starmer, who keeps trying to pass himself off as the son

Read More »
A to Z: Age is for Ageism

So, I reckon we should start off the A to Z with a rant on ageism and generally being old (read f***** over for the less sensitive amongst you.)   I know it’s hard to believe, but I started writing this blog in 2007 when I was 42. This makes me a dinosaur amongst the blogging community (i.e., I’m verging on the extinct), and last month, I turned 60.   Now, I know the kinder amongst you will be saying, “How

Read More »
New Website

After 18 years on another CMS, I have moved my blog to a more versatile platform. However, it will take some time while I perform some jiggery-pokery to get it exactly how I want it. So please bear with me as things fall off the page, are posted upside down and so on. It has also beome apparent that I will have to edit hundreds of posts as importing them has screwed up all the post layouts, especially paragraphs. This

Read More »
A Chicken Nugget A Day Keeps Justice Away

I have been forced. Yes, forced to come out of blog hibernation to comment on the latest scandal to hit the UK. God knows I have been tempted multiple times in the last few years to comment on some of the insane things happening in the UK and in the world, but sadly, life has just thrown too many curve balls at me. But today, I can take no more – I cannot keep my mouth shut any longer over

Read More »
My Nominees for the US and UK Elections and Other Waffle

It’s the early hours of the morning, and I have had a large gin… Late-night alcohol is always a good recipe for writing gibberish. And I have not written gibberish for a while on my blog as I have been busy writing gibberish for my MA in Comedy Writing. Which I recently passed with a distinction. Yay! Yes, it transpires that even academics can be fooled into thinking gibberish is genius. Excellent. So anyway, I have written two sitcoms, a

Read More »
Less is More (well that’s my excuse and I’m sticking to it)

I’ve been practising my haikus, which you may recall, I’m not particularly good at. However, I wanted to address the woke issue in a concise, meaningful way as it is such a serious matter for discussion and particularly relevant to me as a comic writer. Which, if you know me,  translates as: 1) I’m too lazy to write a long analytical post. And 2) I’d rather watch a movie and eat tortilla chips. However, I feel obliged to say my

Read More »

4 responses

  1. Do you know I’ve no idea who wrote it Usha – it’s an old song/rhyme that’s been about for years.

    Hmm..that’s the second request I’ve had for an audio file! Mewie thinks I should be doing podcasts! Personally, I don’t think the world is ready for Mrs T’s voice – let alone my singing!

  2. That Daniel Bedingfield song is lovely . The rabbit song reminds me of a song I learnt in nursery school – a bit grim for 5 year olds – went like this

    In a forest , in a wood
    A little deer by the window stood
    Saw a rabbit running by
    Chased by the dogs
    Help me help me help me , it said
    All the hunters’ll shoot me dead
    Poor little rabbit come to me
    Happy we shall be

    Of course there’s no record as to whether both rabbit and deer lived happily ever after .Unlikely.
    Oh your comment moderation says “pless” very primly.

  3. Mrs G that rhyme is almost as bad as mine although it does have deeper poetic undertones and stunning imagery… (hmm..do you smell something whiffy in the air?) Okay, let’s stick to Daniel Bedingfield – WOW!

    In a forest, in a wood
    Mrs T, by Daniel stood,
    Saw her knickers in a flash
    Off he sprinted, in a dash
    Help me, help me, help me he said
    Before I lose all my street cred!
    As Mrs T may capture me
    And serve me up for her tea!

    Yeah, almost as bad as my previous poem….better check back in tomorrow….

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *