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The often dubious, politically incorrect and mainly humorous musings of Ms Jane Turley, (Ex) Housewife Extraordinaire.

The Pen or The Finger?

I am in my kitchen making a cup of tea when I see an attractive man in his thirties approach my doorstep carrying a parcel. This doesn’t happen very often. (That’s the attractive man knocking on the door – the parcels come a lot. In fact, Amazon would probably go into receivership without my custom.)

I open my front door and take a closer look at my visitor. I decide he has modelled his appearance on George Clooney’s semi-bearded look. This is pleasing to the eye but doesn’t quite have the same impact as Gorgeous George is a six-footer and the delivery man is like Tom Cruise in stature. Somewhere six inches has gone missing.

Still, I’m not one to complain about six inches.

So I smile as he breaks into conversation.

“Would you mind taking in this parcel for your neighbour?”

“Sure.” I reply.

The man hands over one of those electronic signature devices where I am supposed to sign for receipt of delivery. For a moment I am perplexed as there is no stylus or pen and I wonder how this device works and then (being super intelligent) I realize I am supposed to sign using…my finger.

I raise my finger and strategically place it on the screen and attempt to sign my name.

Nothing happens.

I try again. Nothing happens. The screen is blank.

I am perplexed.

I raise my finger and study it. (Yes – I can’t believe I did that either.)

What has happened to my finger? It’s not working! Why is my magic finger not working? Have I lost my touch? Oh. My. God. My finger is broken!


 The deliver man sighs. “You’re supposed to use your finger not your fingernail.”

“Ah.”

I  quickly sign my name with as much flourish as possible.

J a n e
The delivery man hands over the parcel.
“Bring back pens,” I say and close the door.
Fingers. I like them and find them pretty handy. However, the next time someone
 asks me to sign something without a pen I know which finger I’ll be using. And it won’t be the one they’re expecting.
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