In Praise of Liz Hurley

You may remember that back in December I reported that whilst out Christmas shopping I forgot where I had parked my car in a large multi-storey car park – and that subsequently it took me a whole hour and the assistance of a security guard to find it.

Therefore, I was delighted to hear that actress, Liz Hurley, reported her car stolen in London’s Mayfair last week – only for it to turn up in the exactly the same place she parked it four days previously.

Liz (courtesy of Wikipedia) knows a thing or two about cars. Just not where she parks them.

Isn’t it nice to know that celebs are human too? In fact, I feel kinda like I have one up on Liz now – I mean we’re the same age and she may have the body, the money, the looks and Shane Warne as a boyfriend but when it comes to memory at least mine is only partially up shit creek. Liz’s memory is obviously totally kaput – she didn’t even remember where her car was at all – The Sun newspaper told her where it was because they’d photographed her leaving it.

Anyway, well done Liz. You made me feel a lot better today. Now all I need is liposuction and a face lift and I’ll be in with a chance of touching up Ian Botham.

Latest Posts

New Website

14 March 2025 No Comments

After 18 years on another CMS, I have moved my blog to a more versatile platform. However, it will take some time while I perform some jiggery-pokery to get it exactly how I want it. So please bear with me as things fall off the page, are posted upside down and so on. It has also beome apparent that I will have to edit hundreds of posts as importing them has screwed up all the post layouts, especially paragraphs. This

A Chicken Nugget A Day Keeps Justice Away

10 February 2025 No Comments

I have been forced. Yes, forced to come out of blog hibernation to comment on the latest scandal to hit the UK. God knows I have been tempted multiple times in the last few years to comment on some of the insane things happening in the UK and in the world, but sadly, life has just thrown too many curve balls at me. But today, I can take no more – I cannot keep my mouth shut any longer over

My Nominees for the US and UK Elections and Other Waffle

31 October 2023 1 Comment

It’s the early hours of the morning, and I have had a large gin… Late-night alcohol is always a good recipe for writing gibberish. And I have not written gibberish for a while on my blog as I have been busy writing gibberish for my MA in Comedy Writing. Which I recently passed with a distinction. Yay! Yes, it transpires that even academics can be fooled into thinking gibberish is genius. Excellent. So anyway, I have written two sitcoms, a

Less is More (well that’s my excuse and I’m sticking to it)

2 February 2023 2 Comments

I’ve been practising my haikus, which you may recall, I’m not particularly good at. However, I wanted to address the woke issue in a concise, meaningful way as it is such a serious matter for discussion and particularly relevant to me as a comic writer. Which, if you know me, translates as: 1) I’m too lazy to write a long analytical post. And 2) I’d rather watch a movie and eat tortilla chips. However, I feel obliged to say my

Sixteen Years On

8 January 2023 7 Comments

So this post is just going to be a stream of possibly (wildly erratic) thoughts. So hang on to your breeches; we could go anywhere with them. Cripes, I only managed three posts last year. And I call myself a writer? Pathetic! Though, to be fair to me, almost everyone who was blogging with me in 2007/8 no longer blogs or blogs even less than I do now. A few later blogs are still going, so kudos to those

Are You Having A Laugh?

25 March 2022 1 Comment

An ex-secret service agent with a personality problem and a desire for imperial glory. An aged president who looks like he’s got a giant fork prong stuck up his arse to keep him upright. A floppy-haired bumbling classics graduate with a predisposition for crass decisions. A tinpot dictator who showcases his weapons like a movie trailer. A comedian who has found himself elevated to global status. If the world wasn’t on the brink of war this surely would be the

Anna May says:

11 February 2013 at 4:56 AM

Haha! Liz was probbly stood right next to her car when she reported it missing but her pout stopped her from seeing it.
Ian Botham? Really?
Anna May x

Reply
Jane Turley says:

11 February 2013 at 5:48 AM

Let's face it, Anna, I don't think I'm in with much of a chance with Kevin Pietersen!!! As for Shane – I think I preferred him when he was…less manicured:)

Reply