2500 x 500

The often dubious, politically incorrect and mainly humorous musings of Ms Jane Turley, (Ex) Housewife Extraordinaire.

Poetry Time

IF
If is a
crazy word
Or an
unhealthy turd
If only I
had done this
Or that
Thrown away
the key
And just
been me
If only I
had said no
And fought
my foe
If only I
had done this
Or that
Instead I
stuck it out
And now I
want to shout
If only I
could be free
Sing from
the tops of trees
If only I
could do this
Or that
But the vice
is still tight
And I’m
prepared for a fight
If only
women were not subjugated
Or
flagellated
If only
they could do this
Or that
If only women had one voice
Then we
would rejoice
If is a
crazy word
As fragile
as a baby bird
If only I
could do this
Or that
If may
define my past
But I
refuse to be typecast
If is a
word of possibilities
Freedom
from responsibilities
If only I
could do this
Or that
And I will
Because I shall not standstill
Latest Posts
A Chicken Nugget A Day Keeps Justice Away

I have been forced. Yes, forced to come out of blog hibernation to comment on the latest scandal to hit the UK. God knows I have been tempted multiple times in the last few years to comment on some of the insane things happening in the UK and in the world, but sadly, life has just thrown too many curve balls at me. But today, I can take no more – I cannot keep my mouth shut any longer over

Read More »
My Nominees for the US and UK Elections and Other Waffle

It’s the early hours of the morning, and I have had a large gin… Late-night alcohol is always a good recipe for writing gibberish. And I have not written gibberish for a while on my blog as I have been busy writing gibberish for my MA in Comedy Writing. Which I recently passed with a distinction. Yay! Yes, it transpires that even academics can be fooled into thinking gibberish is genius. Excellent. So anyway, I have written two sitcoms, a

Read More »
Less is More (well that’s my excuse and I’m sticking to it)

I’ve been practising my haikus, which you may recall, I’m not particularly good at. However, I wanted to address the woke issue in a concise, meaningful way as it is such a serious matter for discussion and particularly relevant to me as a comic writer. Which, if you know me,  translates as: 1) I’m too lazy to write a long analytical post. And 2) I’d rather watch a movie and eat tortilla chips. However, I feel obliged to say my

Read More »
Sixteen Years On

So this post is just going to be a stream of possibly (wildly erratic) thoughts. So hang on to your breeches; we could go anywhere with them.   Cripes, I only managed three posts last year. And I call myself a writer? Pathetic! Though, to be fair to me, almost everyone who was blogging with me in 2007/8 no longer blogs or blogs even less than I do now. A few later blogs are still going, so kudos to those

Read More »
Are You Having A Laugh?

An ex-secret service agent with a personality problem and a desire for imperial glory. An aged president who looks like he’s got a giant fork prong stuck up his arse to keep him upright. A floppy-haired bumbling classics graduate with a predisposition for crass decisions. A tinpot dictator who showcases his weapons like a movie trailer. A comedian who has found himself elevated to global status.  If the world wasn’t on the brink of war this surely would be the

Read More »
What Happened to My Wine Gums?

Since my post earlier last night, I’ve been sorting my books and CDs, which until recently have been still packed in my basement in my new home. The basement (or glorified cellar if you wish) was one of the attractions of my new home – providing a place where I could hoard all my crap. I don’t use the word “crap” lightly, as it would indeed be crap to most people. However, I rather like hanging onto my personal crap.

Read More »

3 responses

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *