I know I have a curious mind as you can probably tell from my last philosophical questions post. However, as it’s Easter I’ve been thinking some more (a dangerous situation I know). Here’s a few questions that have been plaguing me over the Easter Holiday:
1. Why didn’t Jesus change the bread into chocolate?
2. Why is it when I’m at the kitchen sink that my glass of water magically changes into wine?
3. Do bunny rabbits have big ears so you can peg them on the washing line?
4. Why isn’t there a spare place in all those pictures of the Last Supper? Cos, you know, there’s always someone who doesn’t turn up…
5. Why is it that my bread doesn’t rise even with yeast?
6. Why is it that that at Christmas, Easter and on my birthday I get chocolate but on my wedding anniversary I get a bank statement?
7. Why hasn’t someone marketed miniature chocolate Pierce Brosnans? And why stop there? I’d happily eat a chocolate Kevin Costner, Keenau Reeves or a Hugh Jackman. And as for a chocolate Will Smith… mmm….I just love a dark chocolate, especially one that tickles the taste buds.
8. Why do Easter Eggs have to come in boxes so big you could stick two together and make a jumbo jet? (You might need a few extras but let’s not be too picky please.)
9. Why is that nuns wear habits but priests wear frocks?
10. Andrew Lloyd Webber wrote Jesus Christ Superstar and Joseph and the Amazing Technicolour Dream Coat – Why did he write a song for the Eurovision song contest??
12 responses
In reply to your questions….
1) Because the guy that made up the book didnt think of it. That was the problem in the old days. No imagination.
2) That’s the fridge, and that “fruity water” is a bottle of Chenin Blanc.
3) They actually have big ears because in the creation process, mother nature was having a bit of a giggle and the snakes said “Give em really stupid ears!”
4) Because Leonardo was having a giggle. You know, they all won free gillette razors too…and no one made an effort. Lazy shites.
5) Try using water and not wine in the mix.
6) To remind you that it is not about marriage, it is about how much cash you can spend on that fruity water to help you get over being married yet ANOTHER year.
7) I heard that people didnt want to nibble on pierce’s little chocolate finger because of the crunchy bits.
8) Becasue sometimes you want to make a turret.
9) It’s just a bad habit they have, and frockly they should sort it out.
10) Because the first two attempts sucked, so he decided to just carry on sucking.
Maybe because nobody had discovered South America ?
because you have witchy ways in the kitchen.
because God had just started making ears and there was a lot of ear . By the time he came to Man there was very little left.
because there were no more chairs around ?
try fizzy pop
because thats Mr T’s way of telling you what an expensive woman you are to maintain
Im with you on this – Id like a chocolate Hugh Jackman please
because someone hopes theyll multiply
that’s because the designers were too avant garde and got mixed up
to reach out to more people maybe ?
Very inspiring Mrs T . I hope youre giving away prizes , I find Im partial to a bit of H Jackman these days :p
Sy,
1. Maybe but I’m not convinced. He got as far as imagining naked bodies and fig leaves – why not go further and imagine chocolate?
2. Could be – the fridge is a LOT more interesting than the washing up bowl.
3.Damn those snakes – they are just Sooo mean.
4. Maybe they didn’t have any shaving foam and the whipped cream for dessert was just too tasty.
5.Good point – I’ll try.
6. Correct!
7. Please go no further. I’m feeling ill.
8. Oh come on! You knwo it’s only air traffic controllers who want to make turrets!
9. yeah, them and their bad habits. And lets not even talk about the sack cloth.
10 You are so perceptive Sy!
Mrs G,
1. Hmm. Could be.
2. This is true – I am especially good with my cauldron.
3. Well thank goodness for that because I’d look even more stupid with a big bottom AND big ears. And don’t mention the tail.
4. That’s a possibility. I dunno though… I just think that Leonardo had no imagination….
5. Hmm.. fizzy pop. That’s a new one on me but where my cooking is concerned anything worth a try!
6.Huh – That’s what he thinks. But personally I think he gets an extremely good deal indeed.
7. Mmmmmmmmmmmmmm…..
8. Oh yeah! That sounds goood….
9. Hee, hee, hee …very good!
Wait a minute is your last anwer to 9 or 10? Either way – it works!!
I could go for flowing wine from the kitchen faucet. Someone should figure that one out and patent it, don’t you think?
I am with you 100% on that one Tamera! I’m in seventh heaven just thinking about it!
I would answer the questions but I am too busy asking my own questions. Happy Easter.
Excellent O; I hope they’re more valuable questions than mine.
(Be wary when googling those anwers though!)
Thanks for the Easter wishes.
A curious mind to say the least! I have the advantage of reading your off-the-cuff fiction, and these questions are just the tip of. I think rabbits have big ears so they can hear the pot boiling and do a runner. and your bread will never rise in this recession the interest rate is too low. try yield instead of yeast.
Waaaaaay too much time on your hands the other day?
Georgie,
Geez you sound like Mr T! Now don’t you start nagging me about the housework too or I may have to leap over to your place with my damp tea towel!
Gary,
Is that a subtle way of saying I’m barking mad???
Woof woof!
(Ps You’re wrong about the bunnies – didn’t you watch Fatal Attraction?!)