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The often dubious, politically incorrect and mainly humorous musings of Ms Jane Turley, (Ex) Housewife Extraordinaire.

#AtoZChallenge 2025

Danger in the Bathroom

I know I shouldn’t laugh but this may possibly one of the funniest stories I’ve ever read. Apparently, some poor woman fell over in her bathroom and impaled herself on her loo roll holder.

Okay, I hope the unlucky woman makes a full recovery obviously. I mean you wouldn’t want an epitaph like “speared by a loo roll holder” on your gravestone would you? It doesn’t really have that certain ring to it, does it?

Anyway, what’s really creased me up is the quote from the fire officer:

She apparently fell and the toilet paper holder just happened to be in the wrong place at the wrong time.

I don’t know about you, but I kinda like my loo roll in the bathroom. I mean, I could put it in the kitchen but it’s not really that handy situated next to the spice rack.

Hmm… I guess instead of having a free standing loo roll or one that’s attached to the wall this woman could hang hers from the ceiling.

No wait a minute… she might end up hanging herself or knocking herself out.

Still, at least it only speared her. Imagine if she’d just fallen with her face flat on it. She could have been smothered to death by a loo roll. Now that would take some beating.

I am going to be really careful in the bathroom from now on. Danger lurks everywhere you know.

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2 responses

  1. I actually spat out my decaff tea onto my screen with your first paragraph!! Then I read the article and was a bit sick! She could've been blinded..but at least then it would have only been in one eye. Oh the perils of those free standing loo roll holders…dangerous things..dangerous!

  2. I know it sounds cruel of me Mummyattheschoolgate to laugh but I read that article in the early hours – and in the middle of the night my sense of humour gets worse, not better:(

    I have two of those free standing loo rolls. I long ago gave up on the idea that the good Mr T would screw the normal ones I'd purchased to the wall. Of course, I could do it myself but sometimes, out of principle, I like to hang on and see how long these DIY jobs takes:) I think I'm up to about 5 years and counting at present! I may screw them on myself soon – I'm not sure if I'm ready for disability allowance:)

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