Blogging A to Z : H is for Hope and Horny Jelly Men

“Hope” is a great word. It inspires lots of positive thinking and happy thoughts. Luckily, I am one of those people who has an optimistic outlook so I don’t get depresssed too often – well not for much longer than it takes to eat a bar of Cadbury’s Fruit and Nut or watch the England cricket team doing their warm-up stretches.

Now, on the whole, I think it is a good thing to be an optimist. However, some folks might say that being an eternal optimist means I’m really a fantastist and I’d be better off being a little more realistic. I’m not so sure.  I rather like my sunny disposition. Anyway, I thought I’d make a list of things I regularly hope for and you can judge for yourselves when it’s a good or  a bad thing for me to have such an optimistic outlook.

Here we go!

1. When I wake up every morning, I hope I can still feel my toes. (All good so far. Yay.)

2. Every morning when I wake up, I hope George Clooney has got divorced and moved in next door.  (I’ve been hoping since 1990 and I’m not giving up now whatever anyone says.)
  
3. When I get up in the morning, I hope I can raise my sons from their comatosed teenage sleep so     they can get on the bus and get to school without me driving them. (Praying as well as hoping on that score.)

4. Every morning when I wake up, I hope my novel has topped the bestseller charts so I can finally tell all my literary friends that is pays to write gibberish and I can splash out on a new biro. (I have my eye on a boxed set of biros but even I feel that might be too optimistic.)

5. When I wake up in the morning, I check under my pillow to see if Master Jacob (aka the tooth fairy – it’s role reversal now it’s my teeth that are falling out) has left me some more Horny Jelly
Men. (This is a catch 22 situation – it’s not good that I’m running out of teeth but on the plus side Horny Jelly Men are really tasty and are excellent for sucking. They are also small enough to get in my mouth without the need to bite off their heads.)

Excellent for sucking and nibbling.

6. Every morning I hope I have lost some weight. (Without having made any effort the day before.)

7.When I wake up in the morning, I hope I will read in the newspapers that all the leading political parties have agreed to cast aside their differences and work together for the good of the country. (Oh come on – we’re all allowed one really far-fetched dream!)

8. Every morning when I wake up I hope one of my family will be bring me breakfast in bed and tell me to have a lie-in. (Not since Jan 1992.)

9. When I wake up in the morning, I hope Mr T and the boys will say; “It’s okay, we don’t need any food at all today. You can have the day off.” (Not bloody likely.)

10. Every morning when I wake up, I hope that I make someone, somewhere, in the world, smile.
(Sentimental crap which readers love. There’s loads more of it my novel which is only £3.49 on Amazon. An absolute bargain!)

You can check out the other Blogging A to Z candidates HERE.

Previous posts: A is for Arses and Aidan Turner
                         B is for Bullshit
                         C is for Chinese Crispy Duck and the Conservative Party.
                         D is for Diarrhea, Dinosaurs and Depauperation
                         E is for Eulogy for the Earth
                         F is for Ferrero Rocher
                         G is for Guns and Girls