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The often dubious, politically incorrect and mainly humorous musings of Ms Jane Turley, (Ex) Housewife Extraordinaire.

#AtoZChallenge 2025

Born to be a clown

I have a habit of being a clown. It comes naturally. I look around me and see sophisticated women everywhere and wonder where I went wrong.

So today I got so excited watching Master Jacob play tennis that when I went to sit down I sat on the edge of my chair, tipped it right over and landed on my arse and splayed all over the floor in front of about twenty or more people. Much to everyone’s amusement.

And I thought the petticoat incident was bad enough. Oh wait a minute, there was the knickers round the ankles incident too….

I am 47 years old. These things are not supposed to happen. What’s more I still get spots.

It is soooooooooo unfair – I am lodging a complaint with Him Upstairs!

On another matter, here’s my favourite record of the moment; I Won’t Give Up by Jason Mraz. I went to see him in concert a couple of years ago and what a heap of talent he is. This is the sort of music I like to listen to in my car when I need to chill out after I’ve just made a complete prat of myself. Which is probably why I now have an extensive Jason Mraz collection….

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3 responses

  1. It aint just you Jane, it happens to us all. About thirty-five years ago, I worked with a guy who had just bought a Honda Gold Wing. It was a big, impressive motorbike, and when he went into Brighton one lunchtime, I scrounged a lift on the back.
    We pulled up outside the Honda dealers, and I took off my helmet so everyone could see who was on the bike! There were several bus stops on the pavement, so several people looked (not at me – at the bike, but I was desperate)! Unfortunately, I caught my foot on the grab rail as I dismounted, and ended up flat on my face on the pavement!
    I was a lot younger then, so you'd think I could laugh it off by now, but as I remember every excruciating detail all these years later, suggests not….

  2. Oh Thank the Lord – it's not just me!

    Okay, I admit that's a pretty bad tale, Martin. And definitely not the sort of ego bashing that one would like when try to appear hip, hop and cool – on the plus side at least you were young and it's not so bad if you appear a bit of a plonker! (Although I suspect it actually hurts more if you know what I mean.) Frankly, I've got used to being such an idiot I manage to laugh it off most of the time – on the other hand I would love to be smart and sophisticated. But, you know what – it's just not happening! I'll probably through the bottom of my coffin!

  3. I meant "fall through the bottom of my coffin" of course, Martin. It's been a long day and I've just thrown in the towel by consuming 2 glasses of 16% proof dessert wine! The spelling can only get worse!

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