Excuse me whilst I swear

A couple of blog posts ago I wrote about turning up at 8.20 am with my boys on the wrong day for their dentist’s appointment.

Today, I forgot my own.

Yes, at 9.28 am the dentists rang to tell me my appointment was at 9.20. What I want to know is – with my track record why don’t they just ring me an hour before?

Okay – I know the answer – it’s because they charge you for missed appointments. Great. Now I’ve got two bills to fork out for. Humph.

Excuse me whilst I swear.

***** ****! !

On an entirely different matter, my short story The Princess and the Thief is featured as a staff pick on the short story website ReadWave. I’m going to pat myself on the back because frankly I need to cheer myself up as I know I’m going to get yet another whopping dentist’s bill next week. Somehow, my dentist always seems to find stuff to do on my gnashers. I think he actually enjoys dentistry. In fact, I know he does. He’s always showing me his new gadgets. Once, he even took me into his back room and showed me his new diamond drill. And I mean that sincerely, folks. No innuendo intended there – I can’t afford to be sued by him as I have enough trouble paying his bills already.

On yet another entirely different matter I haven’t mentioned my uncle’s funeral yet. I left home at 10.30am to get to a 1.30pm service at the crematorium: I finally arrived – at the wake at 4.30 pm. Now that is a long, long, story which I don’t have time to recount now but believe me they could make a film out of it. If you’ve ever seen the film Clockwise starring John Cleese – all you need to do is to substitute me and a funeral and there you have it. Anyway, that rather embarrassing episode is now going to be the opening chapter of my next book – move over Hilary Mantel. Who wants to hear about dead people wearing tights? My life is way more interesting…

My short story The Princess and the Thief on the Readwave front page. Hurrah! You can read it HERE

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