I am all of a dither – should I buy this gift?

Oh Readers, I’ve just been on Amazon and browsed through their deals of the week and saw an article of clothing I am sorely tempted to buy for the good Mr T. In fact, as soon as I saw it I immediately thought:

Why that is just so stylish and elegant for the debonair man the about town. I am sure Mr T would love to wear it!

And Readers, this lovely article of clothing is only a paltry £98.00. I think it will make a great gift for any man for Father’s day. Start saving now.

So what do you think? Shall I get it or not? Honest opinions please.

Oh Gosh – I’m not sure about the colour though. Maybe I should go for the pink? Although I’m not sure if my budget can stretch to £140 for this one which is obviously very fashionable indeed at the moment.

Hmm…or maybe the red?

Oh God, the dilemmas, the dilemmas! Maybe I should just throw caution to the wind and buy all three. I might even get one for his brother. I’m sure he’d really appreciate one of these lovely suits for Christmas.

Oh alright. You’ve sussed me out – the truth is I would rather marry a lesbian than be seen dead with a man wearing one of these. I like men who look like men not like they’ve forgotten their potty. And clearly any decent man thinks so too as there is only one review on Amazon which reads:

My dear grandma asked if i wanted this for xmas or to be smothered in meat paste and attacked by wild dogs….I chose the wild dogs.

Enough said.

Latest Posts

A to Z: B is for Badass Brits.

2 April 2025 1 Comment

Now, when I think of Badass Brits, I think of the likes of Jason Statham and Vinny Jones. Men with humble, working-class backgrounds who’ve made good and have a reputation as hard men in films. The kind of men who, 100 years ago, might have worked 12-hour shifts down the mines and still come home and dug the garden over. Not like our present PM, Keir Starmer, who keeps trying to pass himself off as the son

A to Z: Age is for Ageism

28 March 2025 2 Comments

So, I reckon we should start off the A to Z with a rant on ageism and generally being old (read f***** over for the less sensitive amongst you.) I know it’s hard to believe, but I started writing this blog in 2007 when I was 42. This makes me a dinosaur amongst the blogging community (i.e., I’m verging on the extinct), and last month, I turned 60. Now, I know the kinder amongst you will be saying, “How

New Website

14 March 2025 No Comments

After 18 years on another CMS, I have moved my blog to a more versatile platform. However, it will take some time while I perform some jiggery-pokery to get it exactly how I want it. So please bear with me as things fall off the page, are posted upside down and so on. It has also beome apparent that I will have to edit hundreds of posts as importing them has screwed up all the post layouts, especially paragraphs. This

A Chicken Nugget A Day Keeps Justice Away

10 February 2025 No Comments

I have been forced. Yes, forced to come out of blog hibernation to comment on the latest scandal to hit the UK. God knows I have been tempted multiple times in the last few years to comment on some of the insane things happening in the UK and in the world, but sadly, life has just thrown too many curve balls at me. But today, I can take no more – I cannot keep my mouth shut any longer over

My Nominees for the US and UK Elections and Other Waffle

31 October 2023 1 Comment

It’s the early hours of the morning, and I have had a large gin… Late-night alcohol is always a good recipe for writing gibberish. And I have not written gibberish for a while on my blog as I have been busy writing gibberish for my MA in Comedy Writing. Which I recently passed with a distinction. Yay! Yes, it transpires that even academics can be fooled into thinking gibberish is genius. Excellent. So anyway, I have written two sitcoms, a

Less is More (well that’s my excuse and I’m sticking to it)

2 February 2023 2 Comments

I’ve been practising my haikus, which you may recall, I’m not particularly good at. However, I wanted to address the woke issue in a concise, meaningful way as it is such a serious matter for discussion and particularly relevant to me as a comic writer. Which, if you know me, translates as: 1) I’m too lazy to write a long analytical post. And 2) I’d rather watch a movie and eat tortilla chips. However, I feel obliged to say my

Martin Lower says:

19 April 2012 at 9:12 PM

If you buy one of these for Mr T, you may have to marry a lesbian…..

Reply
Jane Turley says:

20 April 2012 at 5:05 AM

Where needs must, Martin! There's only so much a woman is prepared to suffer!

Reply
Anonymous says:

21 April 2012 at 5:20 AM

Apparently Primark had Scoppy Doo outfits and others like this for only £19 before Christmas.

Reply
Jane Turley says:

21 April 2012 at 5:24 AM

Well now Anon – the Scooby outfits I can go with – and at 19 quid a real bargain! I mean Scooby is an icon of TV and films; who wouldn't want to be dressed as Scooby at every available opportunity? Imagine all the fun one could have at parties etc. These other suits are pretty dull in comparison – I feel they're only suitable as work-wear ones now….

Reply