Let’s make that eleven words and phrases

I’m having a sleepless night. So I decided to whizz around the net and look at the headlines. Firstly, I went to The Mail because it’s a light read and at 3 am as super intelligent as I am (that’s irony by the way) my brain is not up to reading Dostoevsky. Big mistake – Demi Moore is back in the headlines. What is it with The Mail and their obsession with Demi Moore? Anyway, apparently Demi has an age-defying body and wears a bikini. Big deal. I have age-defying sense of humour (it’s still childish) and wear thermals. I think I’ll make whole article out of it for my blog and stick in twenty pictures of me in my PJs taken from every conceivable angle. I mean you all want to see my arse in flannelette PJs taken with a long distance lens from the top of a coconut tree don’t you?

Yeah, so I lowered myself to reading the article about Demi. Although this was mainly just to see if the The Mail writers can actually keep writing this stuff without going completely bonkers. One day I hope to click on an article about Demi and see a blank page with a just a singular line from the writer which reads:

“I can’t take anymore, I’m taking an overdose.”

Now that would be news.

So after closing the article on Demi I scanned for something else to read and further down I spotted there was a header saying Amanda Holden had changed her hair colour from blonde to brunette. I couldn’t be bothered to click on the article because the truth is whilst it may be the early hours of the morning and I am not at my best – I am not yet brain dead.

Don’t argue with me. It’s not polite. It’s my blog.

Anyway, I decided enough was enough and I went over to The Telegraph for some mental stimulation where I read this article about school children who now can’t catch balls. I have to say this fact came as no surprise to me. In fact, my only surprise was that kids even know what the word “ball” is…. However, in the article I did come across a new phrase that I am going to add to my list of words and phrases that annoy me. It’s obviously the latest political correct mumbo jumbo in our schools. The phrase is “physical literacy”.

Yes, apparently children need to be physically literate by ten or eleven years of age.

I wonder how long it took coin that phrase? I am beginning to fear that good old PE lessons (Physical Education) will now become Physical Literacy lessons. Yes, just to add to the confusion of how to catch a ball (reach out, open palms, watch flying object, don’t duck, cup hand around ball ) kids will now be confused about which lesson they are actually attending. I can see kids turning up for PE having brought their copy of Romeo and Juliet and turning up to Literacy (which used to be English) in their shorts and tee shirts.

Really, is it any wonder kids can’t catch a ball?

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