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The often dubious, politically incorrect and mainly humorous musings of Ms Jane Turley, (Ex) Housewife Extraordinaire.

Ten succint reviews of DVDs I watched over Christmas

1. The Expendables 2 (Stallone, Schwarzenegger, Willis, Van Damm, Norris et al.)

Not as good as No 1 but worth watching just so you can spend an hour afterwards plastering eye-liner on your own features trying to figure out what the hell Sly has done to his face. Some acceptable gratuitous violence suitable for Friday night viewing after a bottle of cheap plonk when you no longer care care if there’s a hole in the plot so big you land a jumbo jet in it. Not enough of Bruce Willis who despite the hair loss is the only older action hero in the film who remotely resembles himself.

2. Sherlock Holmes, Game of Shadows (Robert Downey Junior, Jude Law)

Unacceptably dull. However this was primarily because the disc wouldn’t load.

3. Tower Heist (Eddie Murphy, Ben Stiller.)

 Two great comedy talents but one dull script equates to a very average film. Disappointing.

4. Rampart (Woody Harrelson)

Very slow start creating little empathy or excitement. Switched off when the camera moved to the foot of the bed and zoomed in on two pairs of feet in a compromising position – there’s only so much I’m prepared to explain about the birds and the bees over Christmas. My boys can find out about the rest when their older – it’ll be more fun that way as opposed to remembering mum’s ten minute lecture on condoms whilst eating a turkey sandwich. This film is for the dedicated movie buff/Harrleson fan.

5. Prometheus (Michael Fassbender, Charlize Theron)

Ridley Scott presequel to Alien. The special effects were diminished by watching on the small screen and with not much else to add to the Alien story this is one which in hindsight I’d rather spent the time revisiting Alien or Aliens again – both of which are far superior.

6. Sherlock Holmes, Game of Shadows (Robert Downey Junior, Jude Law)


Unsurprisingly, much better on a second viewing although I still managed a light snooze during the early half of the film. When I woke up it was getting more interesting. Loved the camera shots towards the end of the film. Bearing in mind how well Sherlock has been portrayed in the past I thought Downey did well to bring the character to life. Can’t say that for Jude Law though.

7. Ted. (Mark Wahlberg, Mila Kunis and large teddy bear.)

I’m a big Family Guy fan so I knew this Seth MacFarlane film would tickle my fancy. It did – although I have to say it wasn’t quite as funny as I expected. Full marks for the Teddy bear fight though.

8.Up in the Air  (George Clooney)

Sharp, sassy contemporary story about a man who fires people for a living. A winner. I might even read the book as proof you can write comedy drama and still be taken seriously – will have to see if the book worked as well as the film.

9. Ice Age 4.

The Ice Age series is proving one of the best animated cartoon film series ever. Another winner.

10. How to Lose Friends and Alienate People  (Simon Pegg, Kisten Dunst)

Silly stuff about a British journalist who goes to the US to work on a celeb magazine. I liked it.

As I said: succinct!

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2 responses

  1. I've reached the conclusion that whoever decides on how to spend the budget for films should spend less on the 'star' and more on the writing. For starters, I want a PLOT and the less about 'feelings' the better.

    Oh, and what's a presequal?

  2. Any film without a decent plot is a dodo isn't it?! That said, an incoherent plot which needs an doctorate to follow also turns me off! A balance is best, I suppose:)

    I think that's what they call the film that comes before the original – like the later Star Wars films which preceded the originals. However, don't be surprised if I've got the wrong word, Martin. Accuracy isn't always my strong point!

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