2500 x 500

The often dubious, politically incorrect and mainly humorous musings of Ms Jane Turley, (Ex) Housewife Extraordinaire.

#AtoZChallenge 2025

(Unfortunately) Sober Ramblings.

Yes, it’s the early hours and I have the dreaded toothache again.

Joy. Especially as I am stone cold sober. I went back to the dentists yesterday. My dentist concluded that the antibiotics are not working. (I think my description of getting drunk in the early hours may have helped.) So I have now another, more specific, course of antibiotics to run concurrently with the other. Unfortunately, the dentist’s parting shot to me was;

“Mrs T, I advise you not to drink with these particular antibiotics as you will be violently sick.”

Darn it. Darn it. Darn it. Life is cruel.

Anyway, in the last half hour I’ve dosed myself up with paracetamol, Nurofen and the 2 antibiotics and now I’m killing time before they all kick in. Well hopefully. If not, it could be another long night……………….

You know I didn’t feel too special yesterday morning. In fact, I felt decidedly queasy. There’s a surprise! Anyway, the dentist tells me if the pain is not easing by Wednesday he will just drill out my root canal on Christmas Eve. Why how lovely! What a delightful Chrissy prezzie! Further, he told me..

“I’m afraid if the antibiotics don’t work Mrs T it will be painful. Very Painful.”

Excellent, excellent. (Please detect note of sarcasm – I am not a masochist.) Fortunately, I’ve got a high pain threshold – although you’d probably not think so with all the midnight whinging I’ve been doing lately.

Oh some good news…I found my car keys. It took 3 and a half days of tearing the house apart only to find them in the rubbish covered in spaghetti bolognese.

I hasten to add this was Mr T’s home made spaghetti bolognese which hadn’t gone down too well with the kids. Hmm… if there’s one thing I’ve learnt with kids -if you are going to be a poor cook be consistently poor – otherwise when they get something decent they get confused……

Well anyway, back to pain. I know all about it. I’ve had three children you know. I’ve even given birth with no painkillers – well except that gas and air stuff. Which is good you know. You can believe anything under the influence of that stuff. I mean I believed Mr T was genuinely concerned about me during Master Benedict’s birth. I mean he even managed to ask me some questions…..

” What do you think the answer to twelve across is? I think it’s an anagram.”

Hmm…

“Shall I get sandwiches from the canteen or shall I just nip home?”

Hmmm…..

“I wonder if they have any more comfortable chairs?”

Hmmmm………………

What is it with men? There I am giving birth – which, whatever they say, sure feels completely unnatural to me – and Mr T is worried about whether twelve across is an anagram or not. Still I suppose he was present at all the children’s births which is something. It wasn’t so long ago that men never did that kind of thing. My father was certainly never present at my birth or any of my siblings. In fact, I remember him pacing up and down the kitchen during the birth of my younger brother whilst we children took guesses at the name of our new sibling. Yep, while we considered all these fanciful, exotic names we overlooked the obvious; the same name as my father. Yep, he was John Junior or as we called him…Johnnie. Or sometimes “that irritating small person who makes a lot of noise in the night”….well you know….whichever slipped out first…..

Well on to other matters. (Sorry about the random nature of these posts lately.) Well we are under snow at the moment in the UK. It’s the first time I remember snow before Christmas well for years…. in fact I can’t remember snow before Christmas at all. There’s snow all over Europe too and, I believe, severe snow sweeping parts of the US.

I can’t help worrying about our climate…. especially after my interview with Paul Brown and reading his book Global Warning; The Last Chance for Change. Paul isn’t like one of those shoddy journalists who’ll just write anything to sell papers; he’s old school. Indeed, he sat in my home and we discussed climate change for several hours. He has such a vast knowledge and, what’s more, he understands the science behind climate change having studied and reported on it for years. That’s knowledge that the average lay person doesn’t have. I’m a terrible skeptic as you know (about pretty much everything) but well when I met Paul I felt I could trust him. You know how sometimes you meet a person in life and you instantly trust them ? Well I felt I could trust Paul to disseminate the information I don’t have the scientific knowledge to truly understand – for climate change is a complex issue – and present it to me in a way which would enable me to make a proper and balanced judgement.

And I do believe climate change is happening. How severe it will be will depend on how we change the way we live in the next few years. It’s obvious from the Copenhagen conference that some nations are still putting short term prosperity over global long term future. I guess if the 2 degrees tipping point is reached which will trigger runaway climate change believers such as myself will have the last laugh.

Unfortunately it will be one laugh I don’t actually want to have…….

Gez, getting drunk in the night is so much more fun! Roll on 7 days time when I’m going to get merry!!

Gosh, it’s nearly 5am. Hmm… I’m feeling decidedly cold now but at least the painkillers are working ……

Off to bed…..

Latest Posts
A to Z: B is for Badass Brits.

Now, when I think of Badass Brits, I think of the likes of Jason Statham and Vinny Jones. Men with humble, working-class backgrounds who’ve made good and have a reputation as hard men in films. The kind of men who, 100 years ago, might have worked 12-hour shifts down the mines and still come home and dug the garden over.       Not like our present PM, Keir Starmer, who keeps trying to pass himself off as the son

Read More »
A to Z: Age is for Ageism

So, I reckon we should start off the A to Z with a rant on ageism and generally being old (read f***** over for the less sensitive amongst you.)   I know it’s hard to believe, but I started writing this blog in 2007 when I was 42. This makes me a dinosaur amongst the blogging community (i.e., I’m verging on the extinct), and last month, I turned 60.   Now, I know the kinder amongst you will be saying, “How

Read More »
New Website

After 18 years on another CMS, I have moved my blog to a more versatile platform. However, it will take some time while I perform some jiggery-pokery to get it exactly how I want it. So please bear with me as things fall off the page, are posted upside down and so on. It has also beome apparent that I will have to edit hundreds of posts as importing them has screwed up all the post layouts, especially paragraphs. This

Read More »
A Chicken Nugget A Day Keeps Justice Away

I have been forced. Yes, forced to come out of blog hibernation to comment on the latest scandal to hit the UK. God knows I have been tempted multiple times in the last few years to comment on some of the insane things happening in the UK and in the world, but sadly, life has just thrown too many curve balls at me. But today, I can take no more – I cannot keep my mouth shut any longer over

Read More »
My Nominees for the US and UK Elections and Other Waffle

It’s the early hours of the morning, and I have had a large gin… Late-night alcohol is always a good recipe for writing gibberish. And I have not written gibberish for a while on my blog as I have been busy writing gibberish for my MA in Comedy Writing. Which I recently passed with a distinction. Yay! Yes, it transpires that even academics can be fooled into thinking gibberish is genius. Excellent. So anyway, I have written two sitcoms, a

Read More »
Less is More (well that’s my excuse and I’m sticking to it)

I’ve been practising my haikus, which you may recall, I’m not particularly good at. However, I wanted to address the woke issue in a concise, meaningful way as it is such a serious matter for discussion and particularly relevant to me as a comic writer. Which, if you know me,  translates as: 1) I’m too lazy to write a long analytical post. And 2) I’d rather watch a movie and eat tortilla chips. However, I feel obliged to say my

Read More »

4 responses

  1. Oh Mrs T, you are a gem! In the midst of all your suffering, you made this bored housewife laugh. It was the line about 'if you're going to be a poor cook, you have to be consistently bad or the kids get confused'. A classic.

    Hope your tooth problem gets better very soon. No alcohol over Christmas? It's not right.

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *