When your best is not good enough

Sadly, positive thinking wasn’t enough. I did the best I could up against two internal much younger male candidates.

I actually thought when I came out of the room I might have got it. Apparently, it was a close run thing.

Possibly. But I’m a 52 year old woman. I guess the odds were stacked against me no matter how well I performed.

Now I have one month to find a job or the boys and I are in deep trouble. I’d like to think my husband would help out but he blatantly doesn’t give a shit. I’ve only just had a £200 contribution to my son’s £800 airfare that I paid back in November. Since then I’ve had his car insurance and breakdown cover and he’s not contributed to those at all.

I feel sorry for my boys. I’m trying my very best and it’s just not good enough.

I wonder if my husband ever, even for one moment, thought about the ramifications of quitting his executive job without having a job to go to or making any financial plans. Or the consequences of sitting on his arse for months waiting for someone to gift him a job.

No. He didn’t. One day a spontaneous apology would be welcome but I won’t hold my breath.

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Wendy says:

1 February 2018 at 4:49 AM

Sorry to hear things didn't go to plan. Always difficult when you're up against internal candidates. Hopefully something else will come along but if not make sure you check out everything you can claim for.

Reply
Ann Bennett says:

1 February 2018 at 3:18 PM

Age bias is a big problem in the job market. 52 is a good age, I would not mind revisiting that age. Keep looking, something will pop up. It was unfortunate your former husband quit the way he did. The alternative can make the unbearable look not so bad but we can't see that at the time.

Reply
hillgrandmom says:

1 February 2018 at 4:43 PM

All the very best Jane! Hopefully something will come up.

Reply
Jane Turley says:

1 February 2018 at 6:30 PM

Well they say when one door closes another opens. I hope so Wendy. There’s been a lot of closures lately!

I hate the thought of claiming and successfully managed to avoid it so far but I have a feeling I won’t be able to do it this time. There is nothing to fall back on at all.

Reply
Jane Turley says:

1 February 2018 at 6:36 PM

He quit because he wasn’t getting enough praise, Anne. Then for the three months he worked out his notice told me he was going to start his own business which I said I would fully support him in. That turned out to be another of his narcissistic fantasies…. ah well.

I feel I have a lot to offer at 52. I’ve defintely had a lot of life experiences. Maybe I should become a counsellor. LOL. (That definitely is a joke!)

Reply
Jane Turley says:

1 February 2018 at 6:39 PM

Thanks Sue:) I’m working on creating more opportunities but it’s hard going and rejection quite depressing. So many employers seem to think you’re all washed up at 52 – yet we’re expected to work until we’re 67!

Reply