What shall we talk about? The weather or vaginas?

I was going to write a post about the awful weather in the UK at the moment but then I read this article in The Daily Mail and decided it was way more interesting and deserving of some serious analysis.

So to sum up the article there’s a woman called Kim Anami who, supposedly, can lift a 12kg kettle ball with her vagina.

I can lift a HB pencil with mine. Which is handy because if I ever have my hands amputated I will still be able to sign my name.

Now I don’t want to cast doubt on the strength of this woman’s vagina but whenever I read stuff like that two words cross my mind. They are “mentally” and “unstable.”

Now I regularly lift an 8kg kettle ball (with my hands) as part of my on-going fitness drive and whilst this has resulted in many things (a broken window, a dead cat and facial disfigurement) it has not resulted in the desire to shove a hook up my assets and start hauling it around the house.

Anyway, I wish Kim a lot of luck. If she doesn’t turn herself inside out and get mistaken for a Lady Gaga dress she can always hire herself out as a tow truck. With the current UK weather she should get a lot of work.

This lady attempted to lift a 12kg kettleball. Now she gets strange looks every time she’s goes shopping. The only bonus of her current disposition is that it’s far easier to have a pee in a public lavatory.

Latest Posts

A to Z: B is for Badass Brits.

2 April 2025 388 Comments

Now, when I think of Badass Brits, I think of the likes of Jason Statham and Vinny Jones. Men with humble, working-class backgrounds who’ve made good and have a reputation as hard men in films. The kind of men who, 100 years ago, might have worked 12-hour shifts down the mines and still come home and dug the garden over. Not like our present PM, Keir Starmer, who keeps trying to pass himself off as the son

A to Z: Age is for Ageism

28 March 2025 23 Comments

So, I reckon we should start off the A to Z with a rant on ageism and generally being old (read f***** over for the less sensitive amongst you.) I know it’s hard to believe, but I started writing this blog in 2007 when I was 42. This makes me a dinosaur amongst the blogging community (i.e., I’m verging on the extinct), and last month, I turned 60. Now, I know the kinder amongst you will be saying, “How

New Website

14 March 2025 19 Comments

After 18 years on another CMS, I have moved my blog to a more versatile platform. However, it will take some time while I perform some jiggery-pokery to get it exactly how I want it. So please bear with me as things fall off the page, are posted upside down and so on. It has also beome apparent that I will have to edit hundreds of posts as importing them has screwed up all the post layouts, especially paragraphs. This

A Chicken Nugget A Day Keeps Justice Away

10 February 2025 7 Comments

I have been forced. Yes, forced to come out of blog hibernation to comment on the latest scandal to hit the UK. God knows I have been tempted multiple times in the last few years to comment on some of the insane things happening in the UK and in the world, but sadly, life has just thrown too many curve balls at me. But today, I can take no more – I cannot keep my mouth shut any longer over

My Nominees for the US and UK Elections and Other Waffle

31 October 2023 416 Comments

It’s the early hours of the morning, and I have had a large gin… Late-night alcohol is always a good recipe for writing gibberish. And I have not written gibberish for a while on my blog as I have been busy writing gibberish for my MA in Comedy Writing. Which I recently passed with a distinction. Yay! Yes, it transpires that even academics can be fooled into thinking gibberish is genius. Excellent. So anyway, I have written two sitcoms, a

Less is More (well that’s my excuse and I’m sticking to it)

2 February 2023 47 Comments

I’ve been practising my haikus, which you may recall, I’m not particularly good at. However, I wanted to address the woke issue in a concise, meaningful way as it is such a serious matter for discussion and particularly relevant to me as a comic writer. Which, if you know me, translates as: 1) I’m too lazy to write a long analytical post. And 2) I’d rather watch a movie and eat tortilla chips. However, I feel obliged to say my

rjp says:

10 February 2014 at 12:13 PM

Oh Jane. I haven't laughed that much in a while!

Reply
Jane Turley says:

10 February 2014 at 12:13 PM

Excellent, rjp. Laughter is what we all need!

Reply
Martin Lower says:

13 February 2014 at 11:10 AM

Yet again, I marvel at the stuff that goes around inside your head…

Reply
Jane Turley says:

13 February 2014 at 11:10 AM

It's the pills, Martin:)

Check out my latest post – I think it will appeal to your sense of humour:))

Reply